tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post1094542539446233811..comments2023-11-05T04:23:05.050-08:00Comments on Finding My Way Home: Dancing in a Sparsely Populated Forest....thailandchanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-565659230331774902007-09-23T17:47:00.000-07:002007-09-23T17:47:00.000-07:00Thanks! I've added two of your posts for Thursday'...Thanks! I've added two of your posts for Thursday's disability blog carnival. Great suggestion.JMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16651933344119828183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-81342513612332634422007-09-20T09:26:00.000-07:002007-09-20T09:26:00.000-07:00IMHO, there is an enormous difference between bein...IMHO, there is an enormous difference between being boastful, trumpeting one's horn, having an unhealthy swelled ego of puffed up self-importance AND being aware that you are a valuable person who does things that matter.<BR/><BR/>I think most people do not feel valuable.<BR/><BR/>I think THAT more than unhealthy inflated ego of self-importance does harm in the world.<BR/><BR/>If you did not feel value in yourself, I don't think you would be pursuing such an amazing path in Theravada Buddhism as a person recovering from self-destructive habits (trying to remember how you phrased it one time when talking about your past so as to be respectful, so forgive any mistakes). If you did not believe that it could matter, I don't think you'd share your awesome thoughts and incredible insights that we all so enjoy.<BR/><BR/>As I said in my post, I think when we feel valuable, we try...we try for what is right, good and true.<BR/><BR/>And that's what I hope the ongoing exercise of finding value can bring: more of that personally and societally.<BR/><BR/>Julie<BR/><A HREF="http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com/" REL="nofollow">Using My Words</A>Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-14073210745300701672007-09-19T14:15:00.000-07:002007-09-19T14:15:00.000-07:00"I honestly believe boastfulness and pride are fun..."I honestly believe boastfulness and pride are functions of ego. Ego leads to suffering. And I hate seeing people suffer." I agree to some extent.<BR/><BR/>But, atleast in the US, women tend not to have ego issues. Many women I know downplay or dismiss the ways in which they truly do make a difference. If you're told often enough that you don't matter, you begin to believe it is so. Conversely, if you're told often enough that you do, you begin to believe it as well. So I will certainly take on your task.<BR/><BR/>And I'll start with you.<BR/><BR/>You always have such insightful and thoughtful posts. I also love your contribution to the blogosphere that give me a glimpse into another culture and another way of thinking. Thank you.Lawyer Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06819273107327846943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-60540539167620725872007-09-19T10:45:00.000-07:002007-09-19T10:45:00.000-07:00Hi I hopped in here via friends of friends about 5...Hi I hopped in here via friends of friends about 5 blogs removed....<BR/>Your profile is fascinating... I was LEARNING Thai some years ago... but (long story) I ended up going to India instead!!<BR/>Have you learned any of the Thai language?<BR/>I used the Linguaphone course. They are REALLY expensive considering you get 2 hardback books and 4 cassettes (well this was 10 years ago) and 2 booklets... in dollars close to 500 but I got it on massive discount "only 150 USD!" The course teaches you to read and write it as well as speak ... the alphabet isn't too difficult but whoever said tones are portrayed by spelling... well i never worked them out. Also spelling is irregular so it's easier to learn to recognize whole words than to try spelling them phonetically.<BR/>I just wanted to give that recommendation bc the Linguaphone Thai course is used as a 1st year textbook for students doing degrees in Thai at London's School of Oriental and African Studies... it's the best course in any language I've come across anywhere...<BR/>also i've heard rosetta stone are good<BR/>if you are learning thai i'd be interested to know what course(s) you use or whether you use nightschool/whatever<BR/>... sorry I had better stop babbling.<BR/>Take it easy!<BR/><BR/>All the best<BR/><BR/>GledsGledwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09308172310486574510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-230957076178906852007-09-18T16:16:00.000-07:002007-09-18T16:16:00.000-07:00QT, it's that competitiveness, I guess. So many pe...QT, it's that competitiveness, I guess. So many people are far more invested in finding fault with others instead of seeing the good in all of us. <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Maypole, thanks. :) I will be happy to see your answers whenever you feel like putting them up. <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Peace, <BR/><BR/>~Chanithailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-17901303960902207812007-09-18T12:31:00.000-07:002007-09-18T12:31:00.000-07:00this is great. 2 things I really appreciated in th...this is great. 2 things I really appreciated in this post are the reminder to do good things because we SHOULD and not for any award, and the reminder to tell others that they and their actions matter to us.<BR/><BR/>And so, Chani, your consistently thoughtful and enlightening and honest posts are important to me, as they nudge me to take a deeper look at my own life. Thank you. (and on that note... I am still mulling over the interview questions... hope to post the answers later this wekk)painted maypolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06446625015003854710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-65764741944321441072007-09-18T08:20:00.000-07:002007-09-18T08:20:00.000-07:00Chani - what a great post. Most people concentrate...Chani - what a great post. Most people concentrate so much on what others do wrong, and forget to tell them what they are doing right.QThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15544956727530046973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-1009384526990781542007-09-18T07:04:00.000-07:002007-09-18T07:04:00.000-07:00KC, it would be really interesting to hear what yo...KC, it would be really interesting to hear what you are learning. I suspect I kind of know.. but maybe not. Is there anywhere you can direct me? <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Molly, there is so much I could say on this topic. I don't think people should be taught to disrespect themselves. I believe we should respect all life.. and that includes our own. I do have a problem with ego-centered philosophies or social systems. <BR/><BR/>As for the charity, yes, people still get fed.. but that isn't really the object of this post. I do think it's important that people are taken care of, even if the one giving has a need to blow his or her own horn. At the same time, it does diminish it in the sense that it promotes a colonialist type thinking. Noblesse Oblige. <BR/><BR/>More on this in another post.. perhaps.. one day. <BR/><BR/>I agree with your last statement.. 100%. :)<BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>CM, thanks :) <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Lucia, welcome to the forest. :) It's a bit lonely sometimes.. but it's still a really nice place. <BR/><BR/>I think your friend is on to something. <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Funny, I did check it out.. and I stand corrected. Initially, it was some of the wording in the other post that led me to have a few chuckles. The situation itself, of course you are correct. There is nothing funny in it. <BR/><BR/>I removed my comment from that site. <BR/><BR/>Thanks for bringing it to my attention. This is how we help each other most.. by educating each other. <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Peace, <BR/><BR/><BR/>~Chanithailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-18876471678312380682007-09-18T03:01:00.000-07:002007-09-18T03:01:00.000-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Pamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14040757371778588395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-87913211332582707992007-09-18T01:58:00.000-07:002007-09-18T01:58:00.000-07:00Regarding your post onhttp://cecilieaux.blogspot.c...Regarding your post on<BR/>http://cecilieaux.blogspot.com/2007/09/felicitous-true-fable.html<BR/><BR/>Maybe you should read the comments a biut more because it is anything but funny to mock terrorist survivors and rape victims - I am sure you are not aware of what underlies the story, and it would be worth you doing so I feel.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-13603470190413393422007-09-17T19:43:00.000-07:002007-09-17T19:43:00.000-07:00I want to dance in the forest too.I was just talki...I want to dance in the forest too.<BR/><BR/>I was just talking to a friend today, and she says her answer to what life is all about is:<BR/><BR/>1. About contributing.<BR/><BR/>2. About finding joy.Luciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05295553538430945014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-23098374150105922232007-09-17T19:14:00.000-07:002007-09-17T19:14:00.000-07:00ooohhh. A true letting go. Of ego. of control.Nice...ooohhh. A true letting go. Of ego. of control.<BR/><BR/>Nice Chani. Very truly nice teaching.crazymummahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04663148723513574331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-78112812370836626062007-09-17T19:04:00.000-07:002007-09-17T19:04:00.000-07:00I don't think your forest is as sparsely populated...I don't think your forest is as sparsely populated as you think. Many people are trying these days to live in ways that help the common good rather than doing harm. Not everyone, as is glaringly obvious if you pick up a newspaper.<BR/>We had humility rammed down our throats by the nuns. God forbid we should get so big for our britches as to think we were talented at something. And lashings of guilt. To be Irish, at least from that growing -up time, is to feel guilt about everything!<BR/>On the other hand,we were also taught by the nuns, to do things "because they're good and compassionate, not because we will be rewarded or praised..."<BR/>Is the good a celebrity or philanthropist does diminished when he announces it all to the media? People will still get fed or educated....the person who brags about what a great fellow he is diminishes himself. Let deeds speak for themselves...or whisper.<BR/>And ego.If we could eliminate it, and arrogance, and greed, what a pleasant place the world would be.mollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03797484583400519909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-77335037013625846782007-09-17T18:28:00.000-07:002007-09-17T18:28:00.000-07:00this is very interesting, how different the teachi...this is very interesting, how different the teaching of Buddha is from western psychological thought of identity- what I'm currently studying- adult development and identity and work. It's nice to have another perspective.KChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02114277144629595998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-72278006579835403522007-09-17T17:06:00.000-07:002007-09-17T17:06:00.000-07:00Wayfarer, I understand that is a Native American c...Wayfarer, I understand that is a Native American custom. It is one I've always appreciated. Just imagine how much better it would be if people used their birthdays for something like that? <BR/><BR/><BR/>Peace, <BR/><BR/>~Chani<BR/>http://thailandgal.blogspot.comthailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-21906544415115985802007-09-17T13:04:00.000-07:002007-09-17T13:04:00.000-07:00Chani ~ That is what birthdays are for me: an oppo...Chani ~ That is what birthdays are for me: an opportunity to tell the people in my life what they do that matters to me and what about them I appreciate more. I don't think we do it enough in this world.Wayfarer Scientistahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07996334636311497271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-59240774021757409322007-09-17T11:39:00.000-07:002007-09-17T11:39:00.000-07:00Claudia, you're right. It is all about the judgmen...Claudia, you're right. It is all about the judgment (as opposed to discernment). Excellent point! :)<BR/><BR/><BR/>Peace, <BR/><BR/>~Chanithailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-82982055123189763042007-09-17T11:30:00.000-07:002007-09-17T11:30:00.000-07:00But I think that's the point, right? Good or bad, ...But I think that's the point, right? Good or bad, right or wrong - all is the same. What matters is what you do, not the judgment placed upon it.<BR/><BR/>Good for you!Open Grove Claudiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08130539510552780606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-35624335370086152632007-09-17T11:11:00.000-07:002007-09-17T11:11:00.000-07:00Niobe, thanks. I'm glad. Needless to say, I want t...Niobe, thanks. I'm glad. Needless to say, I want to come explore your site now. :)<BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Susan, I can understand what you're saying, given the cultural context. Another one of the tenets of Buddhism (little discussed) is that respect for all life includes our own. That in itself addresses the feelings of inadequacy. Those feelings come, I think, from a culture which encourages competition, weighing and measuring. <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Flutter, you are very correct... and I would add "without defensiveness". :) (Not that you are being defensive.. it's just a thought that passed through my mind. You know, when we can be comfortable in our own skin and not feel like we have to defend that. For me, that took longer than anything else. The rest was rosy in comparison. <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Christine, you're right. When we encourage others, we also encourage ourselves. That way, we're not engaged so much in selfish naval gazing as we are noting what we encourage in others and then we begin to encourage those things in ourselves, too. <BR/><BR/>Thank you for the compliment. Now I will try to live up to it. :)<BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Jen. Yes. Doing for the sake of doing.. because we know it is right. The rest takes care of itself. <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Suebob, that just cracked me up! LOL ~ Yeah.. "learn to be humble like me." he he. I'm laughing again! <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Enigma.. right, too. I am you and you are me. That's the underriding principle? <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Pam, part of the reason why I chose the path I did is because it's not "organized religion" which leaves a sour taste in my mouth, too. My path is one that encourages people to think for themselves. Yes, we look to our elders for guidance.. but we have to decide what to believe. <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Emily, I honestly believe that if we stop weighing and measuring (a hard, hard lesson for me!), the feelings of inadequacy will disappear. We can not feel inadequate without something to measure it against. <BR/><BR/>Thank you for the compliment. I'm glad it speaks to you. That is the best I could ask for. :)<BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>SM, that is a hard one.. the false modesty thing. I suppose the only way we can tell is by actions v. words. I don't know why.. I just felt like I needed to say these things that time, even with that risk. <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>DesertPea, I honestly believe that taking away rampant ego (we all have an ego.. but a responsibility to rein it in) would dissolve the majority of the conflicts most of us experience.<BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Meno, it is? <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>MsPea, I think the validation from others keeps us from deluding ourselves about who or what we are ~ or our own sense of self-importance. <BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>De, I can definitely believe that! When we care for others, there's no way we can be completely self-absorbed. :)<BR/><BR/>~*<BR/><BR/>Peace, <BR/><BR/>~Chanithailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-7165840650677261622007-09-17T10:37:00.000-07:002007-09-17T10:37:00.000-07:00One thing that having children has given me is the...One thing that having children has given me is the ability to see just how innately selfish people are. And making myself a good example for them is good practice for me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-63558426880231640112007-09-17T09:56:00.000-07:002007-09-17T09:56:00.000-07:00I thought heartinsanfran raises a good point. So ...I thought heartinsanfran raises a good point. So much of my need to people-please stemmed from feelings of inadequacy and I know that my past flirtation with an eating disorder partly came from a low opinion of my inner self(it had nothing to do with my body image and that's what everyone in my life thought it was). So I do feel it's not so bad to have a sense of self-pride now and then. But of course, it should not be overdone and self-indulgent.<BR/><BR/>But I agree with you Chani. We do need to seek guidance and validation from those who are further up the path. And it is so important to let people know when they do something that matters to us and how much we appreciate them.LittlePeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17890731735785145148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-61231535156474310092007-09-17T09:47:00.000-07:002007-09-17T09:47:00.000-07:00This is a good reminder of how to ask for things t...This is a good reminder of how to ask for things that i want.menohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18065283682414369608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-58241039845003947862007-09-17T07:24:00.000-07:002007-09-17T07:24:00.000-07:00If I was asked about 'what I do that contribues va...If I was asked about 'what I do that contribues value', I wouldn't know how to answer, either. I try to do good and ommit the bad and hope to succeed.<BR/><BR/>And I agree with you about the Ego part - a bit less of that and the world would be a much nicer place to liveblooming desertpeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03123794891431225612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-20699730507169808212007-09-17T07:13:00.000-07:002007-09-17T07:13:00.000-07:00Chani. This post has been enlightening for me, to...Chani. This post has been enlightening for me, to say the least. Because guess what? I feel EXACTLY this way, though I've never heard it summarized so succinctly before.<BR/><BR/>I've always felt the way you do but never articulated it, because I didn't want to come off sounding falsely modest. <BR/><BR/>I'm dumbfounded right now. What an "Aha!" moment for me. Thank you.Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05602868040771218507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-33738675990417106732007-09-17T04:45:00.000-07:002007-09-17T04:45:00.000-07:00Chani,I appreciate what you are saying and think t...Chani,<BR/><BR/>I appreciate what you are saying and think this does make you unique. I wage a constant struggle between the desire to work towards humilty (a constantly receding goal for me) and my own sense of inadequacy. I think people boast because they are insecure.<BR/><BR/>I am trying to be honest about my shortcomings lately. It renders them less powerful. One of my shortcomings is that I do not do enough for the world at large -- people outside of my circle. I want to make a difference but am not sure how. I am hoping this book will make a difference for people who read it, which is part of why I am pursuing it so seriously.<BR/><BR/>You may not realize it, but your writing is very powerful. Writing has tremendous impact, and yours often makes me strive harder to be a better person.<BR/><BR/>I know you don't feel pride, but I hope that makes you feel strong.<BR/><BR/>EmilyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com