tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post4109480343342853326..comments2023-11-05T04:23:05.050-08:00Comments on Finding My Way Home: The Tree of Forgiveness....thailandchanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-33415504797250504142007-05-26T06:56:00.000-07:002007-05-26T06:56:00.000-07:00I think I mentioned your new look, it's very you a...I think I mentioned your new look, it's very you and terrific.<BR/><BR/>The honesty in your post is to be admired. <BR/><BR/>Forgivness covers a lot of territory...forgiving those that are truly sorry and are making an effor to change is easy, they are basically good people. But what of those who really don't care? They are out there and forgiveness to them just means the chance to take another run at you. If we can, I think we need to forgive them by way of letting go and freeing ourselves, and then move on and away.Pamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14040757371778588395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-36769373158134241602007-05-25T08:23:00.000-07:002007-05-25T08:23:00.000-07:00The new blog looks fab.This was a great post, too....The new blog looks fab.<BR/><BR/>This was a great post, too. I love your honesty, your ability to see your past self as you were not as you wished yourself to be.Gwenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12526629366170486737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-30414758602569045852007-05-24T17:34:00.000-07:002007-05-24T17:34:00.000-07:00Forgiveness truly is lovingkindness because it is ...Forgiveness truly is lovingkindness because it is so hard to let go when someone has hurt me. I feel like if I forgive all the time(and I usually do but) it gives the offender a free ticket to hurt me again. But I want to give someone a chance if they are trying. I've never had a problem saying I'm sorry or asking for forgiveness though-I don't like hurting anyone so I mean it when I do.<BR/><BR/>This is going to have me thinking a lot too.LittlePeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17890731735785145148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-68726089153605614092007-05-24T12:36:00.000-07:002007-05-24T12:36:00.000-07:00I completely agree that the act of forgiving other...I completely agree that the act of forgiving others really makes you understand and appreciate the forgiveness others have given you.<BR/><BR/>I'm going to be thinking about your post for awhile!Lawyer Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06819273107327846943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-8761072365051762012007-05-24T11:34:00.000-07:002007-05-24T11:34:00.000-07:00Chani,There are so many excellent thoughts in this...Chani,<BR/><BR/>There are so many excellent thoughts in this post. First, that lovingkindness is not the same as absolution. I'm not sure if we are thinking exactly the same thing, but I do think that forgiveness is not always consequence free.<BR/><BR/>I also appreciate your talking about doing the ninth step without really understanding what you were doing. I think that happens sometimes and I am glad for the grace that comes with it. That you went to Dan, doing what you thought was the right thing, not completely understanding it and getting lovingkindness from him in return. And I like that you are able to look back at that time now and not just appreciate what he did, but appreciate more the value of that lovingkindness and what it meant and didn't mean.<BR/><BR/>This was a perfect post for this week's discussion.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10270726693980247861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-55654499143603148012007-05-24T11:06:00.000-07:002007-05-24T11:06:00.000-07:00Love the look and loved the post. I am grateful to...Love the look and loved the post. I am grateful to everyone who has found the largess to accept and then forgive my wrongs.Madhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13416585771017767796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-89217258465732939402007-05-24T09:27:00.000-07:002007-05-24T09:27:00.000-07:00PS. Sorry, I didn't mean to overlook the blog make...PS. Sorry, I didn't mean to overlook the blog makeover. Fabulous.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-21784753117152034492007-05-24T08:51:00.000-07:002007-05-24T08:51:00.000-07:00I love the new look! I feel like I am coming into ...I love the new look! I feel like I am coming into your den in your new country for a chat- perhaps this look gts you one step closer? :)<BR/><BR/>Your post is wonderful. I always seem to be in the co-dependent saver role. I will say that usually, once the other person gets sober or relinquishes whatever other bad behavior they have, they don't NEED you (the saver) anymore. So it is a bittersweet ending to a relationship, whose roots, at least in my case, came from a very deep love for those who I saw as hurting and in need.QThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15544956727530046973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-7219789131949890782007-05-24T08:44:00.000-07:002007-05-24T08:44:00.000-07:00Chani, this looks awesome, really fits what i know...Chani, this looks awesome, really fits what i know of you, especially the colors. I want to wear them. Nice job Linda, and Chani.<BR/><BR/>You may, or may not, have been more horrible than most 20 somethings, but when i look back on that time in my life i see that i was still thinking i was the center of the universe. It's damned embarrassing now. I sometimes still cringe when i think about those days. I need to forgive...me.menohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18065283682414369608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-88647479538116810132007-05-24T08:42:00.000-07:002007-05-24T08:42:00.000-07:00I'm amazed by how clearly you see things in the pa...I'm amazed by how clearly you see things in the past as they are. It's a nice place to be.KChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02114277144629595998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-15875324975998518082007-05-24T08:00:00.000-07:002007-05-24T08:00:00.000-07:00Chani,I've known you for a few months. This new f...Chani,<BR/><BR/>I've known you for a few months. This new format is SO YOU. I love it!<BR/><BR/>I think of all of the blogs I read, you are the most honest soul. Your words come directly from the heart - you writing is inspiring. Your honesty is a breath of fresh air. You might not think so, but it is.Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02040099513110890878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-55276509803867373722007-05-24T06:50:00.000-07:002007-05-24T06:50:00.000-07:00Thanks for this. For letting us "in" and reveali...Thanks for this. For letting us "in" and revealing this part of your history and your soul.Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04662448292809451387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-62407832006159200212007-05-24T06:44:00.000-07:002007-05-24T06:44:00.000-07:00Dan sounds like a perfect co-dependent to a t. The...Dan sounds like a perfect co-dependent to a t. The type I would later see in my life as "the boring and stable ones" that I kicked away with all my might when I grew bored only to find someone else who would put up and adore my wild behavior. In case you didn't know TTQ is an old nickname from an ex who found my dramatics laughable and endearing, it stands for Temper Tantrum Queen. My husband has never seen that side of me but I use the nickname because it reminds me of where I came from and that change is always possible.TTQhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09888187290526881563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-24559422779932487422007-05-24T06:28:00.000-07:002007-05-24T06:28:00.000-07:00i mentioned yesterday loving the new look. its fun...i mentioned yesterday loving the new look. its funny, but you (the reader) gets used to a look associated with someone you read every day and care for - and when it's changed its (at least for me, with you) a whole new thing, the visual assists with the persona in a way, it's interesting how it feels so different and yet the same.<BR/><BR/>how's tha for an over analysation?<BR/><BR/>and about forgiveness. i've seen many people make amends. i always wonder what it's like for the other person, and how much the forgiveness is for the one who is asking rather than receiving. it's complicated, forgiveness. julie's roundtable has made me think a lot, and i am still unable to put more words to it except for returning to compassion.<BR/><BR/>compassion on dan's side, for you before and after. and for yourself, in realizing you deserved a new kindness after making changes to your life. julie's question in your comments is a good one, too. (more, please)<BR/><BR/>is that him?Girlplustwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07056576921114387218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-81614193182784843442007-05-24T06:03:00.000-07:002007-05-24T06:03:00.000-07:00Oh wow...the new look is so stunning, so appropria...Oh wow...the new look is so stunning, so appropriate! Looks fantastic!<BR/><BR/>Your story is very, very moving. It's pretty relateable in the general, I think. I imagine most of us have youthfully been so self-absorbed that we missed how we affected someone else. I think what is so amazing is how aware you are now, how much reflection you've done...that you realized you were still emerging then.<BR/><BR/>Your understanding of his lovingkindness is really moving.<BR/><BR/>"He was willing to put aside my imperfections, to understand that I'd made serious mistakes but in admitting them was making a commitment to change. He knew I didn't know exactly how to do that but the willingness meant something."<BR/><BR/>That's awesome, and then this, "To believe in another person enough to forgive."<BR/><BR/>So you accepted that.<BR/><BR/>It's a letting go and a washing over, isn't it?<BR/><BR/>What I'm curious about, from Dan's shoes, is, what if you hadn't, what if you hadn't changed, evolved, called and said anything? <BR/><BR/>Great post. Great. Thanks!Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-47517245454482112042007-05-24T05:35:00.000-07:002007-05-24T05:35:00.000-07:00The new site is exquisite and therefore well suite...The new site is exquisite and therefore well suited to your words.<BR/><BR/>I agree that we can only truly appreciate forgiveness when we learn how to forgive. I was a selfish self absorbed child until the age of twenty six. Yet my parents have never held any of the awful things I did to them against me. They just loved me.Helhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16151484041306013384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-38129548390086692912007-05-24T05:28:00.000-07:002007-05-24T05:28:00.000-07:00The new look is gorgeous, Chani. And I am incredi...The new look is gorgeous, Chani. And I am incredibly impressed with Linda for being able to 'get' you so well. She must be extremely intuitive.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for sharing this story. You are one of the most honest people I know, and it's refreshing.Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05602868040771218507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-57740173600198721432007-05-24T05:15:00.000-07:002007-05-24T05:15:00.000-07:00I agree with Lucia that your post is so strong. I...I agree with Lucia that your post is so strong. It was interesting for me to read about one of your steps along the way....to how you got to where you are now.<BR/><BR/>And the site is amazing. I gasped when I saw your header. Gorgeous.Tabbahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07571583646468537273noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-9087109642199365192007-05-24T05:13:00.000-07:002007-05-24T05:13:00.000-07:00Oh! This new look is absolutely stunning and beau...Oh! This new look is absolutely stunning and beautiful! What a wonderful thing to have someone take a careful look at who you are and then to design it. Lovely! I love it!<BR/><BR/>Your post is strong. And thoughtful. And I have nothing to say. But I am thinking.Luciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05295553538430945014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-74050598320321515942007-05-24T03:37:00.000-07:002007-05-24T03:37:00.000-07:00When I was young, living at home, I clearly recall...When I was young, living at home, I clearly recall my mother telling me that there was no unconditional love. Love from her was based on behavior. I don't know if she was talking about love for her husband (my father) or love for her children, both, all? I just remember a conversation like that.<BR/><BR/>I don't disagree with the "no unconditional love" idea. I understand that now. But my teenaged behavior was horrible, so I concluded that my mother did not love me. Of course, she did, she acted like she did, and even if there were times that she did not, I believe that she forgave me. Probably. But I guess I have not forgiven myself.<BR/><BR/>I'm probably fumbling around way over my head, but I'm just trying to figure out where oh where this low self-esteem keeps coming from. My sense of futility.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-23657240756161276932007-05-23T23:40:00.000-07:002007-05-23T23:40:00.000-07:00I think I've already complimented the new look in ...I think I've already complimented the new look in my last comment. It's very beautiful, quite miraculous that Linda "got" you so well.<BR/><BR/>And the honesty in this post is beautiful, too. Thank you for sharing that part of your story with us, Chani.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-48357818218440049332007-05-23T21:59:00.000-07:002007-05-23T21:59:00.000-07:00It is beautiful, as is your post. I was quite sur...It is beautiful, as is your post. I was quite surprised by the new look, since I haven't been by in a few days. I've been too busy at the hospital to check in, and I apologize. Even now I'm reading blogs in a stupor, so if this comment makes little or no sense, please forgive me.<BR/><BR/>Hugs,<BR/>Lauriedmmgmfmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09872482306885344135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-44092411896586574482007-05-23T21:56:00.000-07:002007-05-23T21:56:00.000-07:00There is an incident I have yet to blog about that...There is an incident I have yet to blog about that involves my son. That incident involves two doctors and what I consider their inexcusable behavior/attitudes when treating my son. It happened about two and a half years ago and to this day I cannot get over it. I was discussing this incident with a good friend recently and she told me that I wouldn't get over it until I forgave them. She is probably right, but I cannot.<BR/><BR/>I would like to think I am a tolerant, understanding person but this incident tells me I have some growing to do.<BR/><BR/>I REALLY like the new site design. TTQ did a great job.Bobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13690660290319444722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-75722679060686345612007-05-23T21:33:00.000-07:002007-05-23T21:33:00.000-07:00Wow, Thailand Gal, This new format is quite beauti...Wow, Thailand Gal, <BR/>This new format is quite beautiful. It portrays your personality quite well. Rich colors, dark, safe, elegant. <BR/><BR/>I am moved by the story you tell here. Thank you for taking the time to write it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com