tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post8202815696649423171..comments2023-11-05T04:23:05.050-08:00Comments on Finding My Way Home: Envy....thailandchanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-15909101068335732312007-10-01T01:10:00.000-07:002007-10-01T01:10:00.000-07:00While you may not feel envy for possessions or sta...While you may not feel envy for possessions or status, isn't it envy that has led you to want the Thai culture rather than the American one? The dfferent pace pf life over there? The different way of thinking, doing, being? To my way of thinking, if you didn't envy them that, then you wouldn't want it for yourself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-39998432168631794992007-09-17T12:43:00.000-07:002007-09-17T12:43:00.000-07:00I had the exact same conversation a few years ago....I had the exact same conversation a few years ago. The friend who was convinced that everyone in the world suffered from envy (which she also called jealousy), thought I was being superior and dishonest. I wasn't. I could give a ratsarse about what others have. I am happy for them. Happy when they win the lotto, happy when they buy a huge house and can afford the SUV and the private school just as I am happy for them when they find the baker has made their favorite bread at the shop they frequent. Why not? <BR/><BR/>I don't get envy, either. Not one single little bit. My friend, as yours, just didn't get that. When she realized I wasn't lying, she accused me of having low expectations. That was the point where I realized that where I lacked envy, I made up for it in other reactive emotions.SuperP.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06830641369098524799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-60723257742884121462007-09-12T19:05:00.000-07:002007-09-12T19:05:00.000-07:00I think maybe she is jealous of your attitude to t...I think maybe she is jealous of your attitude to the material.<BR/><BR/>And that picture. I am in a need to know about it. Who?crazymummahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04663148723513574331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-65075325300394666222007-09-12T17:36:00.000-07:002007-09-12T17:36:00.000-07:00This was a thought provoking post....Maybe D needs...This was a thought provoking post....Maybe D needs to live and grow a little more. Then maybe she'll realise that things/stuff only weigh you down in life.....Look at Luke Wilson in your other post. Fame, fortune,all the things anyone could want, but he has to hire someone to do the job of a friend....mollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03797484583400519909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-36509739491384479862007-09-11T11:31:00.000-07:002007-09-11T11:31:00.000-07:00All, thanks to all of you for describing this to m...All, thanks to all of you for describing this to me. I'm not sure whether it is security or arrogance.. but, truly, for some reason, I don't seem to be able to conjure up that much concern about other people's belongings or status. I am comfortable in my own skin and don't need to envy others. As I told D., if I want something, I would simply figure out a way to create it. :) <BR/><BR/>Thank you. Really. Sometimes I just get baffled. :)<BR/><BR/><BR/>Peace, <BR/><BR/>~Chanithailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-59700956356620198682007-09-11T05:12:00.000-07:002007-09-11T05:12:00.000-07:00When riding on my aunts boat in the long island so...When riding on my aunts boat in the long island sound, carefree with the salty water spaying about, I envy a leisurely lifestyle. Then I watch what my aunt deals with and I'm happy I don't have her life style. I see people who don't struggle with topics and getting amazing marks in school, I would envy how easy life seemed for them. I see new couples on the street and I envy the feeling of new love, I adore my old comfortable love, but there is something about new love that you can't get back. There are times I envy, I won't lie, and it is petty. Its a case of the grass is greener. But, I am happy with my life and I wouldn't trade it for the world. That is something to hold onto and treasure, not wish away.<BR/><BR/>As usual, your post is very thought provoking.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-1078246197775852282007-09-11T00:08:00.000-07:002007-09-11T00:08:00.000-07:00Absolutely right Carla...dissatisfaction which is ...Absolutely right Carla...dissatisfaction which is something not good... cos if we won't satisfy then won't enjoy anything ...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-71201549539351056762007-09-10T23:45:00.000-07:002007-09-10T23:45:00.000-07:00Wow...what an interesting story. I would have to ...Wow...what an interesting story. I would have to guess that D's envy comes from a dissatisfaction in her life, perhaps with herself, and that she tries to fill that void with things. I guess we all have our flaws.Carlahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08423696800295940382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-89785214317696848252007-09-10T19:02:00.000-07:002007-09-10T19:02:00.000-07:00I envy people who are organized, who are funny, wh...I envy people who are organized, who are funny, who have time that belongs solely to themselves.<BR/><BR/>I do feel envious of those things.<BR/>But *stuff*. Nuh uh. <BR/>I don't really get that either.Tabbahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07571583646468537273noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-35218833696168205402007-09-10T17:01:00.000-07:002007-09-10T17:01:00.000-07:00I don't ever envy people's things--that's not what...I don't ever envy people's things--that's not what would occur to me to do at all. Sometimes, like Jen said, I envy footloose people, but I like to think (and I am working on this) I have grown wise to the fact that it is so futile and empty and pointless to envy--much better to work on fulfilling oneself.<BR/><BR/>Still, I do have my moments, I'll admit.Aliki2006https://www.blogger.com/profile/15763865834765963343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-83883579676423575292007-09-10T15:59:00.000-07:002007-09-10T15:59:00.000-07:00I do suffer from envy sometimes, but I try not to,...I do suffer from envy sometimes, but I try not to, because I know that it's a useless and destructive thing. I know deep down that I am enormously lucky to have what I do, and that my envy is a product of this screwed set of values and priorities that is being perpetuated by the lifestyles of those around us, as well as the glut of marketing and media that suggest we need all these material things to be happy. <BR/><BR/>Still. I would like some new furniture. <BR/><BR/>Envy is human. What we do with it makes determines what kind of human being we choose to be. <BR/><BR/>I believe that you weren't envious. It was rude of her to suggest otherwise.Blog Antagonisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09378330862349859998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-42487349350888480742007-09-10T15:54:00.000-07:002007-09-10T15:54:00.000-07:00I think that envy is a manefestation of measuring ...I think that envy is a manefestation of measuring yourself against other people. We have probably all done it one time or another, especially when we were younger.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03354299078292553141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-72763252172757367322007-09-10T15:39:00.000-07:002007-09-10T15:39:00.000-07:00Mary - I'd love to have a cleaning staff. At least...Mary - I'd love to have a cleaning staff. At least I thought I would, for a second, before I remembered that I'd much rather do it myself. ;)<BR/><BR/>I remember reading a story on a blog I took out of my google reader recently, where the writer had left her *ahem* vibrator in her bed. The cleaner left her a note to say she'd put it back in the drawer with the other ones. This led the writer to freak out a bit but realistically when you allow someone into your home to work there when you're out, you're losing most of your privacy. Of course people are going to open drawers. <BR/><BR/>I prefer that only *I* and the other half know where everything in this house lives. ;)<BR/><BR/>And at the moment, it's all living in boxes instead of where it belongs. I can take it for maybe a couple of days but there's going to come a time when I freak out and have an unpacking spree.. :)<BR/><BR/>Snoskred<BR/>www.snoskred.orgSnoskredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12670406702782244306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-40214105954560380172007-09-10T13:58:00.000-07:002007-09-10T13:58:00.000-07:00I need to come back to finish reading this, but ju...I need to come back to finish reading this, but just wanted to let you know that I've just given you a "nice matters" award over on my blog.Carlahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08423696800295940382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-90661269084429139522007-09-10T13:49:00.000-07:002007-09-10T13:49:00.000-07:00I agree with open grove claudia - it depends on ho...I agree with open grove claudia - it depends on how you are motivated. I am not a person who is very competitive with others - mostly with myself. Tho I do feel envious of people who truly have the freedom to travel a lot, etc. I get over it, tho. It is not an all encompassing thing.QThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15544956727530046973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-17690318542570701782007-09-10T13:36:00.000-07:002007-09-10T13:36:00.000-07:00I don't understand it either, Chani. But I know p...I don't understand it either, Chani. But I know plenty of people who do and it I find it rather sad.dmmgmfmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09872482306885344135noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-82598457570992549492007-09-10T12:29:00.001-07:002007-09-10T12:29:00.001-07:00Gee, you can't even be honest without being jumped...Gee, you can't even be honest without being jumped on.<BR/><BR/>Sometimes I say, "I wish I could more like her, or him." I have never envied material things - oh, maybe as a child I was jealous of friends who had a toy I wanted...<BR/><BR/>We have very good friends who are worth millions of dollars with lots of beautiful real estate, a 1.5M yacht, $10,000 coffee tables. Heck, they are the same as me and my coffee tables were $200. I am in no way envious them or feel jealousy. Honestly! They have too much to care for.<BR/><BR/>They have a cleaning STAFF. I'd like that. Maybe I'm envious of her spare time to have fun when I'm scrubbing toilets all weekend.Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02040099513110890878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-33554338608343748962007-09-10T12:29:00.000-07:002007-09-10T12:29:00.000-07:00I do envy, once in a while -- as others have said,...I do envy, once in a while -- as others have said, not material "things", but, perhaps, a situation or a circumstance -- though it's something I strive not to experience. You're correct, it's an ugly emotion, and one that only hurts the person experiencing the envy. I envy that you've never felt envy! *wink*Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08585572295277151602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-5037730578344951592007-09-10T12:04:00.000-07:002007-09-10T12:04:00.000-07:00I can feel envy, although it's usually not about m...I can feel envy, although it's usually not about material things. I don't tend to envy people's clothes or possessions, but I might envy traits like their endless patience or sense of humour. So, really, it's about things I feel are lacking in myself, when I feel envy.<BR/><BR/>I also think I envy you for not feeling envious. To me, it means that you are really comfortable with yourself.Janethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00567374243896229606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-21742377084886850152007-09-10T11:37:00.000-07:002007-09-10T11:37:00.000-07:00I am not going to read all the comments. I have to...I am not going to read all the comments. I have to say I completely agree with you on the "envy" situation. I do have my moments when I wish I had a home for my son, a yard he could play in, but its not in envy of what someone else has.<BR/><BR/>Interesting that some people don't really get that is a possibility. It amazes me when they talk about it too. sighs. <BR/><BR/>good entry. ;-)Mermaid Melaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02726231529791645694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-40832729067927356032007-09-10T11:05:00.000-07:002007-09-10T11:05:00.000-07:00I agree with Jen and little pea.The only thing I e...I agree with Jen and little pea.<BR/><BR/>The only thing I ever envy is people who have time to grow vegetables and have babies and do lots of yoga.<BR/><BR/>But it is a one day I too will enjoy that, thank you for reminding me it is possible envy rather than a I hate you for having what I don't have kind of feeling.Helhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16151484041306013384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-56905873105545077162007-09-10T11:02:00.000-07:002007-09-10T11:02:00.000-07:00OK, imagine someone ELSE had all the chocolate cak...OK, imagine someone ELSE had all the chocolate cake. And you had no food. At all. You were famished, hadn't eaten in days. And someone was sitting there eating one of those little chocolate cakes.<BR/><BR/>That's what envy feels like. You don't have it for possessions, but that's what it feels like for those who do.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-53265491814019307792007-09-10T08:04:00.000-07:002007-09-10T08:04:00.000-07:00I think it comes down to how people are motivated....I think it comes down to how people are motivated. Some people are really competitive. They compete against every one constantly comparing where they are with where someone else is.<BR/><BR/>I'm not motivated like that. I tend to be achievement motivated (very type A) meaning that I compete against myself.<BR/><BR/>Then in a moment, I can get caught in the idea that someone else has it "easy". Not always. Not even regularly - but out of the blue, there it is and I believe that every single good thing happens somewhere else.<BR/><BR/>I laugh and welcome my humanityOpen Grove Claudiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08130539510552780606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-24999505143035610652007-09-10T05:05:00.000-07:002007-09-10T05:05:00.000-07:00Hmm.I have a lot. Maybe that's why I don't envy. ...Hmm.<BR/><BR/>I have a lot. Maybe that's why I don't envy. I also feel, rightly or not, that anything that I might really want is achievable. Perhaps I'll become more envious as I become older and less capable. Then I'll have to come back and read one of your recent posts about accepting your limitations. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34955137.post-63922257704151046172007-09-10T00:57:00.000-07:002007-09-10T00:57:00.000-07:00You're not missing out on envy, Chani. It's ugly a...You're not missing out on envy, Chani. It's ugly and futile. If I feel envy once in a while and unfortunately I'm not completely immune to it, it's never about possesions - it's about happiness ...blooming desertpeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03123794891431225612noreply@blogger.com