Sunday, September 24, 2006

We've had a miracle today.....

For those of you who do not know the situation, I will summarize in a paragraph. After a few posts, you'll definitely have a good idea of what's been happening here.

I live in a house that is divided into three separate units. Each unit is occupied by one of us. The owner of the house has the biggest section naturally and V. and I occupy the other two. V. has a drinking problem, a serious one. His days are usually spent getting up, having coffee, watching the news and then his drinking day begins. Since his alcoholism is quite progressed, it usually requires only a few shots of vodka to pass him out. He wakes up after a few hours and does the same again. Two weeks ago, we honestly believed he would die. He was very, very close.

That's the background.

Today, an old friend of his came by to check on him and verbally kick his behind if necessary to go into rehab. It worked! Tomorrow, we take him to the emergency room for detox and then he will go into a treatment center for two weeks, guided by his old friend Che. Che will come over to take him to the center, once we get back from the hospital.

After six months of hit-and-miss starts and stops, this is finally light at the end of the tunnel. Since Che has stepped up to help us, we believe it is not an oncoming train this time. V. will finally have an opportunity to get well. Truly well. He is sick enough that he needs to be in a hospital or treatment center. It's not something that will be cured by AA meetings. There are medical and psychiatric conditions involved as well as drinking. After treatment, he will then be free to build the life he chooses instead of the life imposed on him by his illness. He has made offhanded statements that lead me to believe he has felt a similar soul-death to mine. This is the first step in his having the ability to own his existence and start making the choices he wants to make. I will take advantage of our friendship to consistently remind him of that. His choices are his own. Not mine. Not his family's. Not his girlfriend's. So many people lose precious life energy, trying to keep up with the expectations of those around them. (May all beings be free from the tyranny of my expectations!) When we impose our expectations on others that are only to satisfy our own ego needs, we are stealing from them.

I am not saying that we don't have responsibility to others. Clearly, we do. The key to this is having the freedom to express that responsibility in an authentic way as opposed to maintaining a Potemkin image of a life someone else designs for us. There can be no honor without free will.

I will tell more of V's progress as time goes along. The air has lifted here. We are breathing again. We are no longer afraid of waking up to find V. dead in his apartment. V. is having his last drunk and he knows it. I remember from my own drinking days how the oxygen left the room when I was present, making it impossible for anyone around me to be truly happy or free. The demands of my illness on my surroundings were very similar to V's impact on the environment here. The thing is that I couldn't see it, just as V. doesn't see it. My heart goes out to him. I hope he will finally have peace.

May all beings be free from the causes of suffering. ~

May V. be free from the causes of his suffering.

Thailand Gal

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