Weekend: The Nature of Connections

6/23/07 - There is a new post. Technorati will not be updating content here apparently. Please check another way.

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This post is a spawn of one I read elsewhere, one that got me thinking about the nature of the connections we form. Each day we read about each other's lives, each other's thoughts and feelings, what we might be reading, where we've been.

The post I read speculated on how things would change if all of us met. It really did get me thinking.

Recently, I was corrected on a misconception I'd held for a few months ~ that being that the BlogHer conference was by invitation only. I'd believed that one had to be invited by someone else.

Just goes to show what happens when we don't check our facts. There were unintended consequences from that belief on my part and some of it was not very good. I resented the lack of invitation. Reading about it on other people's blogs made me feel like I used to feel when people would invite each other to events right in front of me, like I was a potted plant. But because I am so hypersensitive to rejection, I chose instead to frame it differently. I hadn't been invited because everyone who reads here knows that I am low-income and wouldn't be able to afford it.

Yeah. That had to be it. Right? "They" were just sparing me the embarrassment of having to decline. :) Sometimes we lie to ourselves. It's not uncommon.

So... given the corrected information, this led me to think:

Would I go if I could afford it?

No. I don't think so.

Here's why: I believe a certain integrity in what I do here would be compromised. In this space, I am brutally honest. People who read here know my better parts and where I still need to do a bit more work.

I admit when I go to my Awful Place and things get pretty dark. I'm a moody person. I can be so far in the depths that there's no way out and two hours later, I'm fine.

You know more about my history than some friends know, people I've known for several years here locally.

You also know when something is just perfect. .. and that's often rather simple. An unexpected kindness, an acknowledgment that is unexpected and, yes, sometimes even a validation or a compliment. Like everyone, I like to be liked. And even more, I like being understood.

You, in your anonymity, allow me to care. I care about the people who come here. And sometimes I think the anonymity is a part of that.

Here, in this space, I interact with other bloggers in the comment forum. I don't know what you look like, what your house looks like or what kind of job you have. I don't know how you define yourself in the social world. I know only what you want me to know.

I know what you think. I know what you feel. I know what matters to you and what doesn't by the content of the comments you leave. I get challenged and learn and grow from the perspectives you offer me.

You have your privacy. And I have mine. I won't be showing up at your door or calling you on the phone. (Well, unless you specifically ask me to do so and we both have free long distance!) So far, I have interacted with people in private email. Those emails have always been initiated by others because, honestly, I simply lack the confidence to approach people. I'm a wallflower in all regards. I've never spoken to another blogger on the phone. It's not that I'm adverse to the idea. It just hasn't happened. If it does, it does.

But I'm thinking that's probably as far as it would go.

Meeting in person, particularly in a group, would change the dynamic here so drastically that I'm not sure I'm willing to risk it. I like the honesty here in this space, both from me and from you.

What do you think? If money, time and transportation weren't an issue, would you want to go to the conference? (Any conference or convention ~ fill in the blank.) What do you think would change if we actually met?


Peace,


~Chani