Friday, October 12, 2007

Weekend: Mercury in retrograde...

According to astrologers, communication becomes very difficult when Mercury is retrograde. Miscommunications, lack of understanding, misunderstandings all run rampant during this time.

I don't recall the dates involved offhand but I heard a report somewhere that we are dealing with that now.

And I can attest to it. Just yesterday it seems to have started in earnest. Even with something as simple as this blog. Google Reader didn't update my feed for six hours. And that's just a minor inconvenience. The few conversations I did have (not related to here) felt like an exercise in pounding rock.

Last night I had a conversation with someone and realized "she really doesn't get it" and gave up. By the time I was done trying to get someone to get something that they simply don't get, I had a headache and felt completely wiped out. Unfortunately, I lose my temper. That's my weakness. My temper.

I didn't even get up until 8.30 this morning!

I am finding it very hard to communicate with others right now. Not that I have any trouble talking (God knows!) but being understood. It's times like this when it seems like a rather useless exercise to make my thoughts known, understood, received and heard. I think not being heard is the worst thing.

Maybe Mercury in retrograde is a good time for all of us to take a break, to stop trying to be understood.. but just a time to go into ourselves a bit more, listen to the silence and perhaps come out a bit refreshed. All of these things happen for a reason and there is an ebb and flow in nature that provides all of the things we need, even when we don't recognize it.

Needless to say, I have no intention right now to attempt any meaningful communication. I think I'll finish the book I'm reading, drink lots of tea, eat plenty of grapes and generally hide out until it gets better.

No sense in trying to swim upstream. It's too tiring and I'm not a salmon.

So tell me about you. What do you do when communication seems most difficult? I promise I'll try to get it.


heartinsanfrancisco said...

Mercury in retrograde AGAIN?!!!

This is getting old. It seems to be happening more and more often lately, but I don't see how that could be.

When I am unable to be understood, I first try harder but eventually I have to accept that it's a lost cause and back off.

It seems like a good time for you to lay low until it passes. And it will. Sigh.

Catherine said...

Ooof, sometimes I think Mercury must be in retrograde a lot...

Sometimes I try harder. Sometimes I back down. Sometimes I feel left out. Sometimes I feel frustrated.

Angela said...

I'm with the others. I usually just give up. I've found myself being very reflective and have just decided to go with it for the next few weeks. Maybe there's something back there I need that will help me move forward. But I've put moving forward on hold for right now. Best of luck, Chani! Hang in there!

meno said...

When i am having trouble making myself understood, i usually just give up and try to understand. It clears the deck for me and sometimes i learn something.

My temper is (one of) my weakness too. :(

Rimarama said...

I don't deal well with being misunderstood. Usually, I get frustrated and angry. It's really a hangup of mine - the sense that no matter what, someone will misunderstand what I am trying to say. I don't know why it matters so much to me, really.

On another note, I absolutely can't stand it when Google reader takes ages to update. I always take it as a personal affront.

Snoskred said...

My instinct is now to stop trying - if someone doesn't get it within a few tries, backing off is my best option. I used to keep trying but I found it isn't worthwhile. Sometimes people just can't hear you on a topic..

We all have our weaknesses. Mine is Lindt Chocolate and cheesecake fortunately. ;) hehe. Want to swap?


slouching mom said...

I hope you have a quiet and peaceful weekend.

I'm bullish about communication. If I feel misunderstood, I keep at it until I'm certain I've been properly understood.

I'm stubborn that way.

Snoskred said...

I was sure I wrote a comment yesterday re google reader, but I can't find it. ;(

Blogger is a big part of the problem but you can overcome it mostly by using Feedburner to "pingshot" your feed. Feedburner will work with blogger, it is simple to set up and Sephy wrote some great instructions.

How-to: Integrate your feed with FeedBurner

That will make it faster than it is now - however even with that I have found since I moved to Wordpress that Blogger slows things down a lot. My feeds now tend to arrive in minutes. ;)

Switching to Wordpress is probably not something most bloggers would do in order to fix their feed - there are costs associated with it, like getting your own domain name and hosting space. I'm lucky because I have free access to the second one, and the first one is fairly cheap.

In the meantime you should get feedburner to run your feed. Nobody will lose you, like I say it works *with* blogger. ;)

The Other Half and I will be working on hosting wordpress for people at a fairly cheap rate per month soon, there's a lot of bloggers out there who want to do it and pay by the month and most companies don't allow that - they want a years worth of payment. We have this huge dedicated server sitting there doing very little, so we're going to offer that to people.


daysgoby said...

Hi Chani - I'm visiting from Molly's today - you have a great blog! I'm sure I'll be back!

There are two blogs on my blogroll that my computer has a really hard time loading - both of them (and yours) have those blogrolls in the box where you can scroll up and down.

Unfortunately, I don't know how to make this better!

Anonymous said...

I get mad and bullheaded with those close to me. Or sulky if it's not in person (like comments to a post or an email are off-target, IMO).

I realized when I was spending so much time with my mother right after we moved that I probably learned it from her. You simply cannot disagree with her: her back goes up immediately and she gets really snide, about the littlest things.

Even movie plots based on misunderstandings are painful for me to watch.

MsLittlePea said...

For me it depends on the person as well as my own temperament. Most of the time it's just good enough to know I've been heard and that the person is at least trying to understand.

crazymumma said...

Funny. I am going through a period right now when my communication with mr mumma is at an all time high. God knows it only took us 15 years and a complete debacle with his family to get to this point.

Sadly though, when I am not heard or there is a lack of understanding I do not cope well, with anyone. I get defensive and angry.

Its my weak. It always needs work.

You'll pass through it Chani, out the otherside, new and improved.

painted maypole said...

how do you know when your post shows up on google reader? maybe you've subscribed to your own? Maybe I should do that so I will know. Hmmmm......

flutter said...

I just don't even know what to do with myself today.

jen said...

when i am feeling low i am unable to communicate. i pull in, withdrawl. i can do what i need to, but it's like teflon. nothing sinks in. nothing gets out.

thailandchani said...

Snos, I signed up for it. Hope it will help.. and that I didn't screw anything up. Those forms always make me go brain-dead.

Thanks. :)


PM, yes... subscribe to your own blog and you'll see the length of time it takes. Mine has been averaging six hours.. and it frankly annoys the hell out of me. :)


Daystogo, I'll see if there's anything I can do to reduce some of the lag on my page load. For me, it's working okay and I have an old system. That makes it difficult for me to be able to judge it objectively at all.


Thanks everyone. Glad to know others have trouble being misunderstood, too. Sometimes it just seems so darned hard!

And it's always my temper.. that's the final refuge for complete and utter frustration :)




Pam said...

When communications run amok, I usually pull in and snap my shell shut.

Anonymous said...
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Emily said...

We struggle with communication in our marriage. I imagine all married couples do, but we have always found this difficult. The fact that we never really get to live together uninterrupted for long stretches had made communication especially challenging. We just keep trying. That's all we can do.

River said...

When communication is difficult I write it down, then edit, edit,edit until it is siplified enough to get the point across in as few words as possible.

River said...

That should read simplified......
I used that method when I was working in a shoe factory and helping migrant co-workers with their English.

For other types of misunderstandings I usually back off and let my subconcsious mind find a way to get the meaning across. Sometimes that works soon enough, sometimes it takes forever so the moment for understanding is lost.