Sacred Life Sunday: Remembering Who We Are...

At this time of year, I remember what it was like when life was different, before Thai culture, before my own transformation into who I have chosen to be today. I think about those who are not so fortunate to discover what I discovered, to choose what I chose and to have my heart literally swell with gratitude for what it's brought me and what it has offered the world. My life is rich because of it.. and that wasn't always so.

There was a time when I sat in a little apartment, wondering why I was such a loser that I couldn't be included in the festivities like others. I remember what it's like to watch one movie after another in hopes that I would simply forget what was going on "out there". In an even earlier incarnation, I remember what it was like to get drunk and stay drunk until it was over. I didn't know or understand that I could really make choices so I kept wearing those ill-fitting shoes until my feet were swollen and blistered.

I put myself through all that torment for absolutely no reason because when all is said and done, the unrealistic cultural expectations foisted on people in every available and technologically possible venue are just ... crap.

They're crap.

It serves no one when we judge ourselves by trumped-up standards and crush our own spirits.

We humans are choice-making beings. We get to choose the lifestyle we'll live. We get to choose to recognize crap when we see it or hear it and cull it out.

For those who are marginalized for one reason or another, this is a good time to remember that families, friends and lives come in an assortment of configurations and all of them are just as valid as the next. Dominant culture sets up an ideal because it benefits a certain demographic to have it that way. If it doesn't serve you, get rid of it. "If it's miffy, let it go."

There are so many possibilities for all of us. This world comes with a huge assortment of ways of life for us to choose. There are hundreds of holidays, hundreds of religions, hundreds of political philosophies, hundreds of choices.

I play with holidays, even in my chosen way of life. I adapt them to fit what I want them to fit and act on them accordingly. One day, I'll write more about that. (And probably piss off some Thai uber-traditionalist who will disapprove but that's a risk I'll take.)

Since coming to the realization that I can choose, my life has improved beyond all of my own desires. I can wish others "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" with a high degree of sincerity because I choose to honor all ways of life. I can even pluck out a thing or two that I like about it. I really enjoy the music of Christmas. "O Holy Night" makes me cry. ( Click here to hear the one that reduces a usually stoic Chani to a pile of wet cheeked, running nose, blubbering. :)

My main point is that recognizing that I have choice widens and expands my world. There's no longer a need to try to cram myself into a box someone or something else constructed and then feel diminished because we can't help it when critical parts of our being fall out the sides.

I wish for everyone that choices will become clear, that the knowledge necessary to make a choice that fits will appear effortlessly and that your life will be enriched by your choice.

For those who have consciously chosen a way of life that is not working out and is leaving you feeling diminished, I wish you peace.

~*