Frlends Wlth Beneflts....

De asked a really important question in comments on my last post and it's had me thinking all day. She says: Can you address the value of the individual, though? I often feel hopeless, and question the worth of my own life. Is it as straightforward as one's value stemming from being part of the whole, the "divine?"

The answer is yes and no. And not entirely. That's part of it, sure. But the defining difference in my perception is between individuality and individualism.

Individuality is an aggregate of all our traits and characteristics, positive and negative. It is what makes us who we are. It is what we bring to the collective table. It is how we find a place in the social web. Without individuality, there would be no creativity.

When I was in Thailand a few months ago, and when I was there several years ago, one of the things I took note of is how we interacted together. My rather annoying trait of objectively observing social dynamics is rooted in my educational background. It's second nature. Here's what I noted:

We did nearly everything together. We cooked together. We kept the house together. We shopped together. We talked together. We laughed, we bickered and we shared. Perhaps the only thing we did in a totally private setting was make love or defecate. I'm sure you get my point. What I'm saying is that we created together. We didn't create the closeness because we shared our deepest emotional secrets. We created it because we depended on each other daily.

One of the things that became very clear was our individuality. We each had different traits that when combined allowed us to do that. We had to get along. We each had to do our part. We each had to come through and be responsible or the whole thing fell apart. It put boundaries on our behavior. We couldn't just blow something off because we didn't want to be bothered. We couldn't decide at the last minute that we'd rather do something else because we depended on each other. Interdependence.

A more recent example is in my interactions with the wat which I mentioned earlier. We have managed to work things out. One of the ways I knew it had really worked out and that it wasn't just making nice is that I got the following message: FYI - The temple committee is planning another celebration coming up in June. If you're free -- help is always needed. That let me know that I was accepted - as an individual. Mainly because in the process of helping, all the things I mentioned above will apply. I will bring my individuality to that setting and, with others, determine how we'll create together. They are allowing me that much entry into their community.

Our individuality is what allows us to share of ourselves. Without us, the entire dynamic of the group would change.

Individualism on the other hand is defined as A social philosophy which stresses the importance of the individual above society.

Individualism is what separates us. Individualism is what makes us question the value or importance of our own lives. Human beings are social animals and individualism tends to monetize or make all interactions utilitarian. We become consumers rather than participants. Rational self-interest becomes the highest motive in our interactions with others. It causes our relationships to be superficial and then we question our worth. You, De, and I were raised in that kind of social system. A mark of good mental health, according to the PTB in that field, is "knowing how to recognize opportunities and take advantage of them."

Gee, doesn't that just give you the warm fuzzies?

So.. at least in my opinion.. the value of our own lives as individuals has some dependence on what we bring to the table, what we are willing to create with others, simply because we are all on this planet together and we need each other. Not because of advantage and not because of self-interest. Combined individuality is what feeds our souls and makes us whole. That is what makes me honor you and hopefully you to honor me. That is what makes us unique. No other reason. Just that we need each other and give of ourselves freely.

This is Part One of the answer.... with more to come. :)

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