Thursday, September 18, 2008

Evolution.....

Well, no more memes for me!

Yesterday I discovered something interesting. I spent most of the day on my sobriety support list, talking with people, encouraging them in newly found sobriety, talking about things that matter to all of us.

As usual, I'm the dissident of the group because my views and outlooks are very different than the standard - yet we are growing into an understanding and acceptance of each other. We have a weekly conference call and are starting a mid-week call today. It's helping me to balance out my thinking - to be more accepting and I hope it's doing the same for the people I talk with. It seems to be.

What I've discovered is that I am really pretty good in one-to-one conversations. I talked with three new people on the phone. It was rather delightful and we discovered commonalities among our differences. We talked about all sorts of topics, not just addiction. We talked about books and jobs and cultures and ex-husbands and a whole range of things from the mundane to the esoteric.

In the end, we're all just people. No matter what culture we align to, no matter what language we speak, secular or spiritual, we're very much the same. We have quirks and characteristics. We all have our triggers and mine was tripped yesterday, both in the group and on this site. In the group, we work through those things together in an encouraging and positive way. We all want to be valued and loved. We all want to share things in common.

I think I'm better at that in a one-on-one fashion than I am here. Yesterday I got my first real glimpse of that and it's something I'm still working through.

~*

12 comments:

Chanda (aka Bea) said...

It's all about the learning, this life we have. It's wonderful that you are open to the process. I think that puts you ahead of the game (so to speak).

we_be_toys said...

It isn't always easy to remember - that we are all of us fallible humans, but it's true - even those we don't like. The mud-slinging of politics make me crazy, if I get too deeply immersed. Glad to hear your support group is so active and, well - supportive!

Olivia said...

Chani, I am happy for you AND I also think that you're good at it here too. When you think about it, this is really one-on-one as well. Many, many respond positively and never comment! But anyway, I am glad that you had and will have more of this experience. xxoo, O

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I think you should be writing for a larger audience than a blog, although I have been reading your site for a very long time because you always make me think, a process which is really quite delightful on occasion.

I know that you used to write a newspaper column and there is definitely a need for your message in the world.

We ARE all just people, more alike than different, and it is our life's purpose to share our insights and help each other in any way we can.

And you do.

starrlife said...

So what happened Chani? I read your post and comments and all seemed quite civilized. Did you have to do some hard pruning of nasties? BTW I love your space!

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

I can relate to this post a bit. Long ago, I discovered the hard way that while I am a very good teacher one-on-one, I'm not even average as a classroom teacher.

I missed whatever it was that upset you yesterday, but I'm glad that you're figuring out your own boundaries and comfort levels.

womaninawindow said...

I'm left wondering what happened yesterday. It appears that on your last political post you got support. I think I'm missing something.

Your place is such a haven for so many. I hope you work things out and feel good. Kick up your foot and just be -

MsLittlePea said...

I missed your post yesterday. I thought it was great actually, you verbalized so many things I've been thinking about lately but wasn't gifted enough with same abilities you have to say. So I don't know what happened but as you say you're working through. We are all a work in progress.

I too am better one-on-one I think. Either that or I just talk too much for my own good :O)

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

This is the experience I'm having making phone calls for Obama. I HATE making cold calls and political calls, but you can tell how desperate I am by the fact that I'm doing it. But as I've done it... I've realized that I CAN stand it and I'm not awful at it. I've had very interesting discussions with both supporters and non-supporters and folks in the middle, as well. As you said, we're all just people - it's all about finding the commonalities.

flutter said...

You are a good egg.

FranIAm said...

I love your honesty and I love your earnest participation in your journey.

You are a beacon out here, even if you are better one on one in your own mind.

Peace to you my sister.

Defiantmuse said...

I've been in a very "I can't deal with people who don't resonate with me on a deep level" kind of mood lately. I've just been a bit hermit-like and judgmental and it's not a very good place to be in. But sometimes I think it's necessary to let go of all the crap that builds up from submerging with people so different from myself. I don't know if that makes any sense.