Someone made contact with me today. Someone I have not seen, nor talked with, since 1976.
My first impulse was to run away. Since this contact was made by computer, I nearly recoiled from it. I wasn't sure whether to throw a towel over it or just turn it off altogether. Change my email address. Slink back into the caverns from whence I came.
Truthfully, I would like to talk with her. She was my closest friend for a number of years. I met her in high school and we stayed in touch through our college years. We were quite a pair. I remember more than a time or two going to the lounge at the Hotel Bel Air and hanging out, trying to see who we could meet. We would put on our nicest clothes and head up there almost every weekend. We strutted up and down Rodeo Drive like we owned it. We lived on junk food. When we shared an apartment briefly, we lived on Kraft macaroni and cheese with hot dogs because we couldn't afford anything else. M, of course, paid most of the rent.
(Both of us will deny it if we're asked these days! Who would want to admit to such blatant gold-digging, groupie behavior as adults?)
The real thing is that under all of that, M. was the strong, sensible one. I was the flighty, free-spirited - oh, hell - the flakey one. She was always perfectly in control and very practical. I was bouncing off the walls with some new passion each week, changing my life and identity like changing clothes. M. drove me home when I got too drunk to drive. She never got drunk! (Our friendship lasted through the worst of my drinking.) M is always the one who had money. I was always broke. M was the pretty one. I was the ... plain... one.
M went on to get a good job while I still played hippie. She got married and had kids. I got married and got divorced.
Still. I want to talk to her.
My real dilemma is how I should present myself. Naturally, she asked for a picture.
Should I send her this one, in keeping with the L. A. Woman I still am on some levels.....
... or should I go for the dignified look?
She was always able to see through me though. I can't fool her because she was always good at sorting through the BS. Especially my BS. And she was the only one with the guts to call me on it.
Maybe I'll just snap a picture with my cell phone, now that I've lost so much weight that my old ones won't work anymore, and toss it to the universe.
~*
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Positively Stone Canyon Road....
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20 comments:
Your old friend sounds like a very good old friend, despite your long absence in each other's lives. It should be interesting to catch up, and I'd love to hear about it.
But, um, I think she might know what Judi Dench looks like. I'm just saying.
Reconnecting with old friends can be so fantastic. And like the previous person said, she sounds like she was a great friend to you back in the day.
Just send her your real photo. 'Cause yeah, I think she'll recognize Judi.
Gosh, Chani, and here I thought BOTH were you...
I think you will learn and grow from talking to here.
Wow, what excitement!
xo, O
Do it! If nothing else, it will satisfy a curiosity. And i think it's brave of her to contact you after all this time.
"Be yourself, no matter what they say" has been my ongoing motto.
She is the one who contacted you, so I'd say that she is genuinely interested in YOU, and no one else.
And hey, what's the worst that can happen? She will think that you're old? Well, so is she, since she is of the same age. ;)
Just go for it, don't give away the chance of getting something good out of it!
No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow. - Alice Walker that says it all ... be you and enjoy
i would go for the judi dench one, however, before you sent it, i would make sure that she was aware that she needed to address you as "dame" before each sentence.
i love this post. the fact that you almost threw a towel over your computer...priceless. i've had it happen too. the way to do it and do it right, is to have no expectation going in to the situation. you will not be disappointed
Send both: one from the times you were pals (I'd hope there's one with her in it) and one from your phone. Let's face it: we're all a little older than we were. I don't think the one who had her head on her shoulders is not going to know that. Revel in it and enjoy.
Do contact her back. Maybe she's lonely. Surely she's had disappointments, even if she doesn't wear them on her sleeve at the first of your encounters.
She knew you when ... you knew her then. That should be enough. Those kind of friends you can't make any more.
I find it so encouraging that this has happened for you!
I have several friends I wish I could find. Hang on to them, they are priceless.
i think it would be a hoot if you sent her a picture of a celebrity. it would certainly make her laugh. or tell her you're not quite ready to do that yet, but maybe once you've been back in contact for a while...
she sounds like a friend who will understand. and who won't judge you for how you look if you do share. She sounds like a person who looks beyond the skin and sees the beauty inside.
sometimes old friendships are just the thing we need.
Hi Chani. This sounds like an exciting and unexpected development in your life. I enjoyed reading about your interesting young adult years. Hope you'll keep us posted on what happens next between you and your old friend.
A real photo, definitely. She will love you no matter what.
How wonderful to be back in touch with her! Absolutely rekindle the friendship and send her your current picture - and I like the idea of sending her one of the two of you together from the old days.
I got back in touch with a friend from grade school on Facebook, after 40 years! And we actually still have a lot in common and are very happy to be back in communication. One day we'll meet again in person if she is out here or I'm on the West coast.
Sometimes it can be so refreshing reconnecting with someone you haven't seen or heard from in a long time. I hope it all goes well for you.
I've gone through some similar connections these days. With friends like that, it doesn't matter what picture you send - just send truth and she'll be happy.
Wouldn't you want her to do the same?
I hope the reunion, over the computer or not, is a good one.
I hope this reconnection turns out to be positive and joyful.
Well, I wouldn't send her the first unless you are hoping for sex with her. And I wouldn't send her the second unless you are sure whenever watches movies. Oh well, you might just have to go with a picture of yourself! Keep us posted, this is intriguing.
Oh my...I am giggling, blushing in excitement for you. I hear you...I've been through this (though the time gap is not as much as yours) and the difference is, it's me on other line. The one always looking for old friends, wanting to see them back, wanting to reconnect. I always crave for old friends because after a long day memories with them are what makes me laugh, smile and look forward to the next day. It's never wanting to compare with them what I've got (though some may feel it's that). Truth is...there are just some gaps in life that only friends can fill in.
Think about it, maybe she needs you around this time.
So whaddya do, whaddya do??? Fantastic post, Chani. Your sense of humor is incredible.
I'm with Heart on this one, I want to read the story after you link up. An intriguing tale. I reconnected with a female friend and crushee from high school after a hiatus of 40 years. It was wonderful and we are now brilliant friends. I have never regretted re-establishing the link with that old onetime love. There is no romantic impulse between us any longer and we can laugh about it.
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