I'm sick and tired of hearing about Tiger Woods! Now that we all know what he's been doing, where he's been dipping his wick and with whom, I have to weigh in on this.
Some of the gossip shows and Oprah wannabes are referring to his possible "sex addiction". I'm not buying it. He's been willing to sacrifice his family, his job, his endorsements and his integrity because....
.... he's a dawg!
And I can't say much for any woman who would have a relationship with a married man, either.
I've never bought into the idea of sex addiction. It's just another excuse for people to behave badly and pathologize it. It becomes an excuse. It's bad impulse control. The fact is that adults are expected to have control over their behavior and to make ethical, moral and sensible choices.
What do you think?
~*
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Does A Tiger Change Its Stripes? Um. Spots. Um.
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13 comments:
This is a hard one. I don't know. I think that there may be such a thing as true sex addiction, where the body physiologically gets used to the high levels of endorphins or something. But then you wonder, why couldn't they duplicate the physiological reaction on their own? Why is another person necessary.
And then too, if he had a true "sex addiction", even then he could tell there was a problem (because he also had a brain) and could have sought out some high-end help before he lost his wife and children.
Okay, so I'm thinking my vote goes with you---no sex addiction---bad behavior, a sense of entitlement, and a sense of grandiosity that he could get away with anything.
However, I never hear about him anymore. I was thinking about him today and told my husband that I thought his Christmas was going to be pretty sorry. My husband said he was on a yacht. I don't read the paper and must watch the wrong channels (because I do watch television). So I thought it had settled down!
Peace and love,
O
Frankly, I don't think about Tiger, and if I were to, I wouldn't know what to think. But I do think I'd like to wish you the season's best. :)
I guess the same thing - expecting adults to use impulse control and make good decisions - could (and should) be said about any addiction. Saying that he has a sex addiction should NOT be an excuse AT ALL. Even addictions can and should be overcome. However, I think there is such a thing as a sex addiction - in my studies I've learned about the physiology a bit and it seems that there is a similar brain chemistry impact over time as there is with cocaine addictions, etc.
But as I infer above, I think this is helpful as information to set up the most potentially successful plan for rehabilitation, not as an excuse for continued bad behavior.
I think that Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a very real and very debilitating condition, and that when the focus of the compulsion is food or sex society becomes very judgmental.
There are people who compulsively seek out new sexual partners, engage in high risk sexual behaviors, and so on who definitely have emotional problems. That does not make it a form of OCD, nor does it make it an adiction. Of course neurotransmitters are involved - that's true with anyone who enjoys sex - but it is not a physiological addiction. When someone is exposed to power and fame and wealth early on, they often lose sight of any need to comply with normal limits and decelope a sense of entitlement. I'm not talking aboutTiger Woods specifically because I don't know (or care) about the details of his case, but in general that is what you see in these cases. Of course, nonfamous, nonwealthy, nopowerful people can also develop compulsive sexual behavior related to various childhood/emotional issues of their own. But I do wish people would stop calling it an addiction or suggesting that it is out of a person's control.
I'm with you.
Two comments:
1. Woods is a man who has become famous for hitting a ball with a stick very, very well. Why does anyone expect probity, genius, fair play or anything else?
2. Seeing as marriage is an obsolete, absurd institution, I don't see what makes behaving in a way consistent with its intrinsic hypocrisy is so terrible.
There is such a thing as sex addiction, as there are with many things. I don't buy that this is his particular problem. I am sick of hearing about it. He is a man who screwed up and may ultimately pay for it with everything he has worked for.
Yes, everything's an illness now and people use it as an excuse. I know lots of alcoholics who milk the illness thing for all it's worth in order to keep from being responsible for their sobriety.
Yes, Tiger, plain old horndawg!
And season's best to you.
I tend to think that this particular "addiction" is an excuse to put ones own instant gratification above anyone or anything else. It seems increasingly common among particularly privileged people, athletes, politicians, rock stars, and those who are merely very wealthy (especially if they didn't earn it themselves.) It sounds like justification of bad behavior to me.
It is hard to resist when a woman throw her body at a young estosterone
overloaded man, only a saint can resist. But Tiger is no saint.
i know men with high sex drives. good men who are loyal to relationships with women to whom sex is just not all that important. they pay a high price for their loyalty especially since many wives are unable to engage with them on the topic. my one fiend was crying as he spoke to me. his male friends advice him to go to prostitutes, his female friends tell him to get a grip and he is in a constant state of sexual arousal. it is heartbreaking to see.
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