Okay. I've got a question.... :)

I wasn't planning to post and then it occurred to me that I have a question that would make an interesting table discussion.

Over the past week or so, I've been experiencing a low level irritability. It's not the virulent type that would turn Mother Teresa into a raving b**ch .... but it's definitely burbling under the surface and I'm aware of it.

Typically when I feel that way, I isolate until I get over it.

My isolation was interrupted yesterday by a phone call ~ and I ended up in an argument that probably wouldn't have occurred under other circumstances. Ordinarily, I would have blown it off and perhaps made a few colorful statements under my breath after I was removed from the situation. I might have even used that infamous word that starts with an eff.

My friend and I talked along for twenty minutes or so and it was alright, kind of benign, saying a lot about nothing.

Then she hit my irritability bone. Ouch!

I should preface this here by she has known me for two years.

She said, "Well, are you looking forward to Christmas with your family?"

At first, I just sat there with my mouth hanging open. Then my temper flared.

"Do you ask your gay male friends to bring their girlfriends to a Moral Majority meeting?"

"Huh?"

"Well, that's parallel to what you've just asked me."

"How so?"

"Well, number one.. you know I am Thai-identified. That means I don't do Christmas. Number two, you know I don't have family here. And number three, I'm tired of explaining this sh*t to people who obviously don't even bother to listen!"

"Uh. Sh*t. Well, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

"I know you weren't trying to offend me. That would have required some recognition that you knew who you were talking to..."

I paused for a minute and finally apologized, explained that I am too irritable to talk and hung up.

I was really pissed. Honestly. Pissed. And hurt.

I am so totally over having to explain this stuff to people.

Is it that hard to understand that some people are different, that we don't all value the same things, that we don't all walk lockstep with popular culture and do everything that pop culture demands?

Rhetorical, obviously.

At the same time, I need to figure out how to cope with this while I'm still here without alienating people and telling them off. That serves no one, least of all me, and it only spreads more wounding words out to the energy pool.

So... suggestions? How would you want to be told? What would be a way that you would have found least offensive?

How would you have answered my friend's question?
~*