Put a little love in your heart....

First of all, I want to thank all of you who left me comments and sent private notes over the past few days. You have no idea how grateful I am for that thoughtfulness (even when you challenged me) because I don't have the words. May the karma gods smile on all of you. I know I am.

I was reading a post earlier on Annie's site and it got me thinking.

We are all in this together. There are thousands of us, literally, reading posts at this very moment. There are thousands more of us sitting in living rooms, watching TV or listening to music. Reading books. Some are sitting in dark bars, sucking down the next drink. Someone is smoking crack. Someone is crying. Someone is alone.

Thousands of us are alone.

This simply doesn't have to be. It leads me to wonder why there is so much loneliness when there are so many of us. We waste our time forming little groups, validating ourselves by shutting others out (I'll be writing a post on social networking sites later - and, yes, it's biting), spend inordinate amounts of time on our own petty concerns and then claim we don't have any time and allow ourselves to be mindless. We forget the real purpose we are all here.

This should be simple. It should be evident. And no one should have to be alone unless they want to be. And we shouldn't have to shop for companionship the way we shop for our shoes or our kitchen appliances.

One of the things I experienced in Thailand is a social openness that I can't even imagine here. I was included in things when I didn't even know the people. I got casual invitations at markets, in stores, during walks. I was another human being and was invited by other human beings who assumed that I was just like them.

People waved to me as I sat on the balcony, exchanging pleasantries and smiling even though we didn't speak the same language. I can "swadee ka" with the best of them but this went beyond that. We communicated with our eyes, with our touch, with our gestures.

There is very little loneliness there. In fact, if anything, alone time is rare.

I could go into a full tilt rap about all the reasons for loneliness here. I could write a sociological analysis but I don't want to. We can unknowingly justify this stuff by over-intellectualizing it. It isn't an intellectual issue. It is a human issue.

It is a choice. Not inviting is a choice. Being mindless is a choice. Snubbing is a choice. Judging is a choice. Not being kind is a choice.

At some point, we have to decide who we are going to be in this world. We have to make choices that stretch us, make us a bit kinder, make us more conscious of others. A post like Annie's should never have to be written. My warrior spirit wants to slay that dragon.

Speak to someone. Pick up the damn phone. Do something to make someone else's world better. Please choose kindness.

~*

Kind Faces.....

I had an interesting conversation with D. last night. She came around to my area of the house and began talking about her rental house, the fact that she is not pleased with her renters, that "they don't own any furniture."

As she went along, I heard so much judgemental dreck about people on welfare, people who don't own good cars, people who don't "have anything" that I almost got confused and thought I was talking to my mother! While D has one of the biggest hearts I've ever known, her materialism is very, very annoying! I know it is a result of her own background and her utter distaste from the Texas poverty she grew up in.

For conversation's sake, I asked her what she looks for when she first meets someone. She said she notices how they're dressed, their mannerisms, signals that they are "classy".

Hm.

Funny.

The first thing I look for is a kind face. Does someone look like a kindly person who is approachable? It never occurs to me to try to guess someone's socioeconomic status.

If I had a house to rent ~ which I do not ~ I would of course want to know the person can pay the rent.

I'm not completely lost in a dream world. On the other hand, I completely don't care if the person is a working person, retired, on disability or welfare. If they can afford the rent, they can afford the rent.

But I would want someone who looks kind. I would want someone who is kind.

There are some specific reasons for that.

It's not just for conversational purposes. I believe kind people tread on the earth a bit more gently. They would care about their surroundings. She would likely grow a garden. He would likely treat his animals well. People who are kind surround themselves with other kind people.

Kind people are far more considerate of others and their impact on those who surround them.

Kind people are not completely self-centered. The concepts are incompatible.

It's not unlike what I seek in friends.

I do know a person with a kind face and approachable manner makes the world just a little bit brighter. It can't be faked. Fakery is transparent. When someone is truly content with his or her life, it shines from within.



Peace,


~Chani