Niceness.....

Sometimes when it seems I least deserve it, someone comes along and gives me one of these acknowledgments.

It reminds me to go back to my roots, in a manner of speaking. It reminds me to stick with what I know is right. I do know what is right. Sometimes I just allow myself to behave as though I don't.

Painted Maypole acknowledged me on her blog. Coming from her, it really meant something, particularly given that she is someone whom I can't even recall using a swear word, let alone express mean thoughts. She is always pleasant, even when she addresses a difficult topic. She expresses those things without climbing into the mud pile. Thank you, Maypole. This was a good reminder for me, the timing was excellent and you set a good example. :)

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Looking at the issue of niceness with the wide angle lens:

There's being nice. And there's being nice.

For women, this is a gnarly issue because the social expectations placed on us have included a requirement that we always be "nice". We should never shout. We should never speak up. We should always smile. We should always be warm and loving. The misuse of the term was used as a battering ram to keep us in place, to keep us compliant.

Maybe it's time to reclaim the word and broaden it in a way that fits for us now.

Being nice should mean that we speak our truth with regard for the feelings of others but not at the expense of authenticity. It means we take a breath before we decide that being "authentic" includes the possibility of offending or hurting each other.

Being nice means that we always try to use words that do not wound, that bring no harm to other people, animals or the environment. This includes listening to ourselves for expressions and slang that diminish or put down any of those things.

Being nice means not wishing ill will on another, even when our humanness leads us down that path. It means avoiding thoughts of revenge.

As someone put it many years ago, I now disremember who, "Say what you mean, mean what you say but don't say it mean."

Nice is the wrapping paper around kindness.

That is the operational definition I used as I thought of how to pass this along.

As always, there are too many people who deserve this acknowledgment, for so many reasons. I am very fortunate that the majority of people who surround me, both in the blogging community and in my personal life, are nice people. They keep me on the straight and narrow. They keep me mindful. And I am grateful for the times they've gathered around me, even when I've stumbled and fallen rather ungraciously.

Thank you for accepting me ~ even in my glaring imperfection.

I've chosen not to tag for this one because there are simply too many and it began to hurt a bit, trying to narrow it down to only seven... so this time I am going to pass on the passing on in that fashion.

I would encourage everyone who reads this to claim it, in all its implications ~ and maybe write about it one day? What niceness means to you? Maybe we can spread it around that way.

(palms together) Thank you, everyone.

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