Okay, let's talk about meat....

This is something that caught my interest recently.

When I went to visit with a Buddhist nun a few weeks ago, she told me that I should stop eating meat. She cited the First Precept which states that we are not supposed to kill any living being. She is of a different tradition and they follow that precept to the letter.

I'm more a "spirit of the law" person.

Buddhism, like every other faith, has many different traditions. Mine (Theravada) has no specific rule against eating meat for lay people. I am generally mindful about killing. Spiders don't get killed here and I don't kill insects when I can avoid it. It would be nearly impossible for me to kill an animal. My boundary seems to be convenience. I won't kill a living being simply because it is inconvenient to have around.

Some people interpret the "no killing" rule as only applying to our doing the actual killing. Buying a pound of hamburger at Safeway is different than going out and shooting animals for food.

My immediate thought is that killing for food is very different than killing for sport. Sarah Palin doesn't live here. Intention and purpose are the core issues.

Yet if I really think about it, the idea of eating the body of another being is disgusting. If I stayed mindful of that, I would probably never touch another piece of meat in my life.

But like most people, I do it unconsciously. I buy my pork chops and chicken with abandon, order satay chicken at the Thai restaurant, chow down on pork and pasta or chicken wings without really thinking about it.

Red meat never makes its way to my table. The very sight of it makes me sick.

At some point, I will probably make the choice to adopt a more vegetarian diet. Not vegan. Vegetarian.

So.. how do you feel about eating meat?


~*

Reconnecting to the rhythm of life ....

This past few weeks have been .. um.. challenging.

It's amazing how fast we can forget certain things and go back, full-fledged, into negativity of a life we've left behind. I've spent the past few weeks flopping around like a big fish on the deck of an old river boat, not connected to the things I should be ~ and totally connected to things that are not healthy and just take me back to an old way of being.

This is going to sound silly but I truly recognized it when I got up this morning, made tea, got dressed and didn't even bother with my jewelry.

That sounds goofy ~ but symbols are important to me and my stinky mind was disconnecting me from my symbols.

I revisited the past and got stuck there for a while. Anyone who has read here at all has probably noticed that my moodiness is a real problem. Sometimes I never know when it will come. It just hits me like a hurricane. It's my own personal Katrina.

Long long ago in a land far away, I learned an important lesson from AA. What they call "stinkin' thinkin'" is what gets most of us in trouble. Our minds start working overtime, taking our hard-earned and precious serenity, pulling it over rocks and sticks until it finds the one vulnerable place to attack. My lizard brain started taunting me:

Everyone hates you. I hate you. Life sucks, so go eat worms until you die! No one will give a shit anyway! You'll never get to Thailand, you unworthy piece of crap! Let's just go get drunk! C'mon! It won't hurt.. and no one will even know!

What am I? 15?

Grow up!

Five years of work can cascade down the drain in a few minutes if we begin to listen to those thoughts. That's what stinking thinking will do. Somehow, our minds are always our worst enemy.

I made an impulsive decision. I called my spiritual advisor in Thailand. It will probably cost me more than fifty dollars but it was worth every dime. I truly needed him. It was time to get my thinking straight again ... but needed guidance from someone wiser. It is 14 hours later in Khon Kaen and I had perhaps 20 minutes before it would become too late to call. I picked up the phone ....

Your problem has always been discipline. This is your weakness.

Ajahn S. and I talked about self-mastery and the level of discipline we need to take care of ourselves. When he mentioned that, I realized the truth in his statement. I get up each day and wander through it, no direction, no purpose. I just exist from sunrise to sunset.

Your problem has always been discipline. This is your weakness.

He knew what I'd been doing without my telling him.

When I first began all of this, meaning when I got back from Thailand, I knew to get up at a certain time, meditate, go for a walk, come back and have tea ~ then decide on something to do for the day. Whether it is reading, writing, working in the garden, cooking, studying something, practicing my language lessons, exercising, cleaning or doing something for one of my housemates or a neighbor, I kept reasonably busy. Not frenetic, just comfortably occupied. There is always more than enough to fill a day but when the stinkin' thinkin' comes, I don't do anything. I've been known to sit in front of the tube all day which is seriously the worse thing anyone can do. Getting bombarded hour after hour with advertising and crappy cultural dreck values will begin to make a dent in anyone's serenity.

Not good.. and completely within my control.

He gave me an "assignment". I won't go into the details of it because it wouldn't make sense to anyone who isn't involved in the same type of spiritual practice but I can honestly say that it is helping already.

I am still going a few rounds with my lizard brain but feel strong enough to fend it off.


Peace, all...


~Chani