The White Masai.....

So, I spent the weekend reading this book, recommended by several people. Cliff Notes: It is the story of a woman who visited Africa, was instinctively drawn, met a Masai man, married him and had a child. The book is the story of that relationship.

I had some mixed feelings about it.

For one thing, I wish the author would have told us more about what drew her so strongly to the culture of Africa, where she gained her knowledge and what went on internally. What was she looking for?

She expressed her affinity but gave us no details. I would have liked to know what aspects of the culture she found comforting. Explanations of the history behind the customs, an explanation of her "Masai body decorations". What Masai body decorations? Tattoos? Markings? Jewelry? And what did they mean?

The story begins in earnest when she meets Lketinga. She is immediately drawn to him and actively pursues him.

The author is not someone who swims in the deep end of the pool. I can't imagine a logical, intelligent person marrying someone with whom she can't communicate in a significantly different culture. It's apparent that she was physically attracted but surely she must have known that wouldn't be enough to sustain the relationship. Also, admittedly, I had some serious problems with the way she dumped her boyfriend in Kenya and sent him back to Switzerland by himself. It seemed rather heartless and whimsical.

I suspect someone would have to do a lot of soul-searching and a lot of self-evaluation to know whether an adjustment of that magnitude would be possible, to marry a man and create a life in a completely foreign environment.

Naturally, the book got me to thinking about my time in Thailand and what would have happened if I'd met a Thai man to whom I was attracted. There were certainly plenty of them around. No secrets here. I think Thai men are beautiful to look at.

But... given my limited experience of Thailand at that time, I honestly can't imagine that a relationship would have been possible. Not yet.

My exploration and research into Thai culture took place not only there but after I got back. There is so much depth and history that it would have been impossible to absorb it all in the time I was physically there.

First came the affinity ~ then came the learning about the culture enough to see if the affinity would last.

The affinity not only lasted. It grew. I internalized it more and more. Effortlessly. The more I learned, the more I knew it was for me.

With that knowledge, a relationship (if it should occur) would probably work. The reasons for certain behaviors are known to me and I can cope with them ~ even assimilate them. I have already assimilated many of them.

In the case of the author, I can't help but wonder if she was just adventure-seeking. There were no final thoughts, nothing to indicate what what she learned or how she grew from the experience. It ended too suddenly.

Any other thoughts? From those who read the book.... or from those who didn't? Do you think a cross-cultural relationship would work without foundation-building?

Maybe I am just too cautious.


Peace,

~Chani

(Note: I was poking around on Amazon this morning and discovered that there is a follow-up book to "The White Masai" called "Reunion in Barsaloi". It has not been released yet but will be soon.  I'll probably read it because I thoroughly enjoy torturing myself. Seriously though, it might be interesting to see if she's explored any of this in a bit more depth.)