Now for the news....

Now that the more philosophical discussions are over, I wanted to tell everyone how the surgery went.

I arrived at 6.00 AM by cab. By 7.00 AM, I was in the operating room. Not bad, all told.

While I lay there awake, I was able to see the surgeon scrape away the cataract with his magical instrument. If you can imagine what it looks like from the inside of a car with iced and snowy windows, watching someone scrape the window from the outside, that is how it appeared to me as the cataract dissolved.

I couldn't believe the depth of my sight after he was done. I saw color for the first time in a few years through that eye. I still can not read through it but distant vision is fairly sharp. Glasses are still in my future. (That's totally okay.)

At my post-op check-up yesterday morning, both the surgeon and I were amazed at how quickly the eye was healing.

My vision is completely restored though. I am no longer legally blind.

This morning, for the first time, I went out to look at the garden at the side of the house. It was beautiful! I will take some pictures of it in the next few days.

I'm very happy with the results. Very.

After the events of the past few days ~ my family news, Virginia Tech and the surgery, I am feeling rather spent.. exhausted. Today's Justice v. Forgiveness roundtable is going to have to be the last venture into deep thought for the next few days. My body reacts very strongly to drugs of any kind and the anesthesia is still in my system. I'm still in recovery mode.

~*

On an unrelated note, today I was very aware of how differently I think from the majority who read these pages. Because of my vulnerability in other areas, it was a bit hard on me. I went to my favorite Dark Place a few times, wondering why I even try and that perhaps I should stop this writing. It only increases my occasional sense of alienation, sometimes when I least need it.

My thinking is part of the transformation I've gone through over the past few years. I knew it was going to be difficult when I took it on. One doesn't adopt an entirely new way of life in middle age and not have some bumpy times. I hope to have more opportunities to share these views, to discuss them, to continue learning from others, both those who think like me.. and those who don't.

I'm aware that some of the things I have to say are foreign, different and perhaps even weird. I hope they are never offensive but have to likewise accept that there are times it might be taken that way. My intent in expressing these things is never to alienate, even when it may appear that way on the surface. It is to compare notes. It is to read what others have to say ~ even when they disagree. I am not afraid of disagreement. I am not afraid of discourse. When I need to think about something a bit more, I'll state that openly.

There is more to say about this but it can wait for another time. I'm tired. All I really want to get across is that my mind is open to reading and discussing all points of view, even if I don't agree. If I challenge a view, it is not to be argumentative. It is not to say my way is better than anyone else's. Today, I've left a few challenging comments ~ not for the purpose of competition or disrespect but in the spirit of discussion.

I hope all know that.. and accept it.


Peace,

~Chani