Sacred Life Sunday on Friday: Weekend

In a recent conversation with someone, my thinking was reframed. I saw something differently than I'd ever seen it before and in its own weird way, may be the answer to one of the things I've grappled with for a long time.

Whether you call it "fellowship" as the Christians do ~ or "sangha" as Buddhists call it, we all need community.

Community isn't something that western culture does well. Statistically, people like me who are divorced, middle-aged and without children, often find themselves horribly alone in the world. To varying degrees, I've definitely felt the effects of it. After a week or two of what seems like vast emptiness, I begin to feel depressed and hopeless. There's also a certain shame attached to it. It's not something that can be openly discussed with others because the automatic assumption is that I am simply unworthy of companionship. (This is a global statement ~ that is assumed about anyone in the same position, not just me.)

I admit to engaging in some blaming. If only the culture was different, I wouldn't be feeling this. If I was in Thailand, it wouldn't be this way. If only people I know would be willing to make a bit more effort and be a little more thoughtful, I wouldn't feel this way. If only....

An offhanded remark by a friend in Thailand, someone whose perceptions I trust beyond measure, completely changed my mind on all of this.

He said, "now that you know how you suffer, it is your responsibility to make sure others don't suffer similarly."

The truth is that I have resources some people in my position don't. I'm rather fearless about going into new situations and am also generally accepted whenever I do. Since I have a strong personality, I usually end up in a leadership position in most of the things I do. Looking back historically, that's just the way it works out.

That isn't true in corporate situations where I find my light dims to nothing. That is because of the dynamics and the ethics involved. I would be unwilling to give my energy to that kind of effort. Historically, I have not done well in those situations and if anything have felt totally repressed. On the other hand, in volunteer activities ~ those with a social service focus ~ I've done very well.

Most recently at the wat, it took about a month for me be appointed to a leadership position.

I suspect this all has to do with being in alignment with our passions, the things we really care about. I couldn't give more than a spit about commerce.

Back to the topic - isolation - I began thinking about what I can do to make sure others don't suffer similarly.

I decided to engage the wat in some interfaith volunteer activities. For a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that most people either work full time and can't give any of their time and/or a language barrier, I am the logical one to do the work. I began to look around for volunteer opportunities that would be consistent our values and at the same time, provide a way for the wat to get more public exposure.

Even though I will be the one doing the work, it is the wat that will be listed as the contributor.

The first thing I found was a dinner for the hungry offered by a Catholic church that is less than a mile from my house. I can walk there. I called and asked if they could use a volunteer to help feed people, clean up or serve. Naturally, the answer was 'yes'. They never have enough people.
They serve once a week on Wednesday evening. They typically draw a few hundred people. The volunteer requirement is a commitment of two hours a week, doing whatever needs to be done.

That's not the only opportunity available but it is the one I've chosen initially. I know my own limitations and can't have too many commitments without the risk of burning out. My health issues are a legitimate concern and I don't want to commit to things and end up not living up to it.

Twice a week will be my initial limit and it will expand as I determine it is possible.

This seems to be a step toward alleviating suffering that I have experienced. This is a very sound principle in my opinion. If you suffer in any particular area of your life, do something to make sure others don't suffer similarly.

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