Heah Come Da Judge....

I just got back from Small Claims Court.

What an experience! Most people who know me are very aware of the fact that I avoid all systems like a pandemic but in this case, I agreed to go along with someone. We went to the Folsom Rd "Justice Center". It was cloudy outside and the inside of the building matched the weather. The absence of color was astounding!

As we walked in, we had to go through a metal detector and put our packages through an x-ray machine. As you can imagine with all my Thai finery, I kept setting the machine off. "Beep Beep Beep". I'd have to take off one bunch of jewelry after another until the offending item was removed. By this time, I'm drawing a crowd.

Next time, I'll go naked! Then they'll have a valid reason to think I'm a terrorist. Me naked. Yes. That would terrify even Osama bin Laden.

Welcome to the Brave New World.

The room itself was a dingy little cubbyhole with pale maroon chairs and grey walls. Again, no color. We listened to endless pairs of people trying to settle their disputes in front of a judge who reminded me of Judge Judy without the attitude. They quibbled and fussed, trying to tell their side of the story, usually talking over each other. The bailiff would say "One at a time! One at a time!"

The judge sat there, passively taking in all the details of these cases, most of them tangential to the real issue that brought people in. I honestly don't know how she does that job, day in and day out, listening to people gripe and complain about how they were wronged in one fashion or another.

Finally, it was our turn. The case itself is a landlord/tenant dispute. The tenants broke the lease and wanted their deposit back. Under the terms of the lease, they would not get it back if they broke the lease.

Easy, right?

No. You'd think it was the Scopes Monkey Trial!

It was half an hour of back and forth quibbling, tangential complaints and shady logic. (From our side, too, unfortunately.) There was nothing I could do to derail any of it since I am not officially listed in any capacity and have no stake in the outcome. That silenced me for all intents and purposes. I sat in my chair as quietly as possible, tolerating the stink eyes of the bailiff every time my bracelets made noise.

(And, no, I don't look like a bloody temple dancer! No need to even go there.. but I do wear a bit of jewelry.)

So I watched this train wreck waiting to happen, knowing which side would win. The tenants would get their deposit back because of the disconnected and unrelated issues that clouded the issue. Each side accused the other of various infractions, from "I cleaned the carpets before I left" to "her son yelled at me and he was drunk."

The other side said, "if they would have stayed, I wouldn't have squatters in my house right now."

The judge said, "They are not responsible for who you rented to after they were gone."

True enough.

This really confirmed for me a few different things.

I would never want to be a judge.

And in my older age, I have no desire to be involved in anyone else's squabbles.

That's not to mention my complete lack of desire to go into any building where I have to go through a metal detector.

Peace and quiet. Yes. That's my thing.
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