Coming Out of Standby Mode....

Wow. From the looks of things, I haven't posted much here in December. A lot of it was retreating, taking some time out of the mainstream (so to speak) and a lot of it was just plain old-fashioned avoidance.

This past season was one of the easier ones I've had in several years. A large part of it is that I used avoidance rather freely. Avoidance can be a good tool!

But I'm coming out of standby mode. The holidays are over. I'm glad to be back to "normalcy" because it gives me an opportunity to take care of lots of things without all the interruptions.

I've made the decision to actively choose a new place to live, to get out more to increase my involvement with other people and meaningful projects and... I've decided to file bankruptcy.

I ran it around in my head for quite a while and it seems to be the best option. I created a lot of debt last year and can't keep up with the payments. It's not just lousy money management on my part, although that's certainly part of it. Additionally though, some events that took place and cost me money I didn't plan on spending. Medical expenses and other unexpected drains on my finances took serious hold during the last four or five months of the year. This is happening all over the place right now... with hundreds and thousands of people.

It's no small decision for anyone. The consequences are serious. I'll have a crappy credit rating for the next 7 years and will not be able to make any major purchases. But the essence of who I am is not my FICO score or my possessions. My peace in this world is not dependent on a 750 credit score. In the end, it simply doesn't matter.

Sometimes we have to make these decisions and move on. Life happens. I should add that I am at peace with it. I lived without credit for over 20 years and did perfectly well. The main thing is to not get caught up in negativity about it.. or let it affect the way I see myself, the world or other people.

These things happen. Trying to control the outcome and fret about it will only create unnecessary unhappiness. I choose to be happy and content in my world, even when things don't go as I wish they would. We can choose to be content, even with a tanking economy and all the world's problems. We can choose to be content because in the end, we still have life ~ and we have each other.


Peace,


~Chani

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