When the past comes back to haunt.... and another Thinking Blogger

I haven't discussed this too much here in the past but many of you already know that I am legally blind. I have no vision in my left eye and compromised vision in my right.

I can get around. Can see movement. Can watch TV. I can read with a magnifying glass. The implant in my right eye has given me certain guarantees. That guarantee is that I will always have vision. It might not be the best vision ~ but it's vision.

The reason for my eye trouble is particularly aggressive cataracts. They grew very fast and although I have had one removed, another came along quickly. Generally, cataracts are seen in people much older than me. More on this in a minute...

Last Friday, I went to Dr Bates, the trusty eye doctor who oversees my case. I walked out, finally, with my referral to a surgeon. Within the next few weeks, I will be under the knife once again, having the lens of my left eye removed and replaced with an implant. Dr Bates warned me that I will probably be in surgery for quite a while since this cataract is so overgrown.

Caveat he issued: As long as it hasn't affected my cornea.

If it has, I'm screwed.

Worse case: At least they can blind the eye so that I will be relieved of the glare and the double vision.

Still, we did have an interesting conversation. I asked him to give me a detailed explanation of the cause of cataracts, at least as much as might be known.

He gave me the basics. It is a clouding of the lens that takes place, blah blah blah. Already knew that. The interesting part of the conversation was the cause. Naturally, I wanted to blame it on my weight because I blame everything on my weight. If there's an earthquake in Indonesia, we all know it happened because Chani is too fat! (He corrected that misconception on my part, explaining that I am not heavy enough for that correlation ~ my cataracts, not earthquakes in Indonesia.)

He explained that it is possible nutrition has something to do with it. I was rather startled when he told me that he has rarely seen a case like mine "outside of a third world country."

Well, my chosen home is a third world country ~ but I certainly didn't grow up in one! However, I did spend most of my working life without insurance because I worked as a contractor. So first -, second- or third-world country doesn't make much difference in that case. It's all the same.

Remembering back over the past 20 years or so, especially the years in the desert, I can affirm that my nutrition was terrible. I didn't take multivitamins and the things I chose to eat shouldn't be fed to pigs. I ate whatever was quickest and cheapest. Lots and lots of carbs. Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. I seriously had no concept of correct eating at all. I never met a vegetable I was willing to eat and hated fruit.

I think when we're younger, we really have no concept of how these choices we make do have long-term consequences. Well, at least I didn't. Somehow, I believed these things would never bite me.

Needless to say, I am now permanently disabused of that notion. Nothing that is not healthy will be finding its way into my mouth any time soon... and the bottles of vitamins in my refrigerator would be shocking to most.

~*

On an unrelated note, I have been offered two "Thinking Blogger" awards from Hearts In San Francisco, a blog I really enjoy and Greens and Cornbread, a blog I equally enjoy. (I also like greens and cornbread. Certainly healthy food, eh? :) Thanks to both of you. I appreciate it very, very much!

Since I have the opportunity to pick five, I want to pick my first one now. (The other four to come another time.) There is a blog I have been meaning to acknowledge for a long time now. The name of it is Doodee's Thailand.

It's one of my favorites for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that I know this guy loves Thailand the way I love Thailand ~ with an open heart, open regard and respect. Just recently, he wrote a series of posts on the death of a friend and the funeral. It is touching, respectful and takes us, step-by-step, through the Thai funeral process. It's good stuff. Truly! Please take the time to read it, from beginning to end. You won't regret it. I have linked them in order below:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six


~*

Peace,


~Chani

Roots and Wings...

I was surprised this morning when I visited Julie's blog "The Ravin' Picture Maven" and found that she had acknowledged me with a "Thinking Blogger Award". Needless to say, I am very grateful! My ramblings here seem to be all over the map and I wouldn't have considered them to be the product of a "thinker", a term that brings up a mental image of a thoughtful professor, stroking his goatee while pondering the gnarliest of questions, ultimately laying the answers down before us.

It got me to consider what standard I would use to describe "a thinker". Not the comic book image but the real thing. A thinker is one who is awake and aware to the nuances of his or her own life, able to see the invisible print between the lines of their experiences, process and integration into a worldview that benefits not only themselves but everyone who comes in contact with them. It's the wisdom that passes from person to person, often in small unrecognizable nuggets that take time to sink in but finally find a cozy spot in our own process of integration. It is what creates the tiny silver thread that runs through all of us and connect us to each other. It is the thought and experience that creates growth in each of us. We create a worldview and we live it. Roots and Wings. There are very few Oprah "AHA!" moments in this life. Most of our growth and wisdom comes from nuggets that are slowly digested.

Part of this project is that I am supposed to pick five bloggers to pass the award along. That is nearly impossible because I value every blog I read regularly and I read over 100 a week ... easily. So I tried to come up with some kind of kernel that would make five stand out in one way or another. Two of the standards I used is that I wanted to acknowledge those I consider both smarter and wiser than me ~ which then elevates me because I learn from them.

So... I'm stuck with 14,269 or so blogs. What do I do now?

Third standard: I have had some personal experience with them, leading me to think more seriously about something.

Okay. Now we have only 30 blogs or so.

I'm getting there.

Teaching can be done in so many ways. It can be done with words ~ or art ~ or poetry ~ or through journalistic reporting.


The first person who came to mind is someone who teaches through art. Pam at Mind Trips.
Her beautiful work is the result of her own very positive thinking style, one that refuses to acknowledge or allow negativity in her world, in spite of some significant physical challenges. I admire her very much and learn from her in many ways.

I have a true admiration and affinity for people who have overcome significant things in their backgrounds and have somehow found peace with their lives today. They are the future wisewomen and wisemen who will influence lives without even realizing it.

Penny at COAHTR and De at Sober Briquette are two of them. Both of these women are brutally honest about themselves, their own growth processes and the circumstances that brought them to where they are now. They use a lot of invisible ink between the lines and that is what makes them so intriguing and so inspirational.

I am someone who needs to be challenged occasionally on a purely intellectual level, too. I appreciate those who do that without knowing it, who present their own views and leave me to sit and think about it. One of the things that matters a lot in this regard is that they think very differently than me. It is easy to reinforce our views by reading people who think exactly the way we do. It's harder when someone's views are the polar opposite.

My political views are certainly no secret to anyone who reads here. For the most part, I am typically progressive with some very conservative views mixed in for good measure. The one thing I am not is an individualist.

That is why The Atavist is such a good challenge for me. He presents his libertarian views with a large component of compassion and wisdom. He is what I believe my ex-husband (who is a radical libertarian) could have been with a lot more maturity. The Atavist states his views with clarity and intellectual integrity. There is never any sense of him dealing with his own personal issues and using libertarianism to justify selfishness or egoism. He's pure gold in that respect.

And finally, the blogger who has probably been most significant to me personally is Jen at One Plus Two. Over the months, we have gotten to know each other in a reasonably significant way ~ in a way that can be done on-line at any rate. I love watching her grow. I love watching how she winds her way through the ethical labyrinth of the personal and the global. I love her instincts and her passion. I believe she is raising an Indigo Child. She is a budding wisewoman who will one day end up writing a book (I don't think she believes this yet) ~ and will be influential far beyond the blogging world. She has a message. And she freely allows us to participate in her see-saw process of sorting it all out and fashioning a worldview that is somewhere between Ghandi and Nelson Mandela.

Jen is 20 years younger than me, almost to the month. Yet in many ways, she is my elder. I learn from her regularly.

Okay. I have chosen five.. and it was very difficult because my head is so full of those who I value equally but did not mention. Laurie, Cecilieaux, Doodee, Kate, Lucia, everyone on my sidebar and the ones listed on my writing tablet to be added as soon as I get eye surgery are equal in my mind. Just know that, please.

I nearly forgot to mention this but each of the five I mentioned should take the "Thinking Blogger" graphic from my site, keep one for your site and acknowledge five bloggers who will, in turn, do the same for five more. Yeah. It ain't easy, is it? :)


Peace,


~Chani