Let's Talk About the Horizontal Mambo...

Recently, I've been thinking about sex. Not in the respect of wanting a partner or anything like that.. but just how much the social attitudes have changed since I was being raised.

I'm old - but hardly ready for the graveyard. I'm closer to 60 than I care to think about. Still, there have been so many changes in social mores during my lifetime, it's hard to keep up. When I was really young, we weren't even supposed to mention it or talk about it. It was secret. Private.

In fact, funny story.... this is how I learned that boys and girls "did it" together.

When I was six or so, one of the neighbor children whispered in my ear, "You know what dogs do?"

She was giggling and so was I because we both had seen the hoses turned on copulating dogs in the yard at one time or another.

"What?"

"People do it, too."

I cringed, couldn't imagine that human beings (which meant my parents, too) did that?

Ugh! What a disgusting thought!

Time went along and the 50s became the 60s. It became an open topic, to the point of being crass and tawdry. It was talked about in terms that were vulgar and utilitarian. (I can't stand the "f word" used in relation to what I still call 'making love'.) Women who didn't were told that they should. Commitment and emotional connection was hard to find. The social conservatives of the time made charming remarks like "why buy the cow if you can get the milk free".

Women as service objects, no matter who was talking about it - liberal or conservative.

It was as though something was let loose and restraint just no longer existed. Self-control. Decency. Commitment. If it felt good, do it. If it still felt good, do it more - with anyone you could find.

If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.

It became recreational. No difference really between that and playing tennis or going out to a concert. It became a friendly way to say goodnight. The days of worrying about kissing on the first date became something else entirely. Would we be expected to "put out"?

I am a confessed social conservative (which almost requires an apology now - but I won't) who still believes that sharing oneself physically should be done only with those who have a deep commitment and connection. The way I differ from many social conservatives though is that I support gay, lesbian and transgender issues. I don't care about the configuration of the relationship but I believe the same standards of behavior apply to all - gay or straight. Courage, character and commitment.

I still hold the old-fashioned notion that it has meaning, that 'doing it' means something. While I make no judgments of those who see it differently, I admit to being curious about the way it "feels" now... especially to those younger than me. It's hard to imagine that it feels very good.. and it seems as though something would be missing.

So.. tell me your experience and your thoughts on the topic.

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