Last night, I got to thinking about how we recognize our elders. First, I had to define "elder".
The primary characteristic is wisdom. The secondary characteristic would be a balanced view and understanding of the life cycle. The third would be compassion and kindness. It would be very hard for me to consider someone my "elder" who doesn't consistently exhibit these characteristics.
Most of the cultures I've studied view an elder as being one who has lived the longest. That doesn't seem right somehow. Age doesn't guarantee wisdom, balance, compassion or kindness. I am older physically but am a rather young soul in many ways.
My two elders are years apart in age. One is 67 and the other is 39. I consider both of these women to be my elders, my mentors, because of the way they live, the way they think and the way they believe.
The 39 year old woman, Dalaja, came into my life three years ago. We met in the oddest way. I was working at a wretchedly horrible job, the one that led to my ultimate choice to pursue disability. Dalaja was a big part of that decision.
She is an amazing woman. She is intelligent, beautiful and one of the most balanced people I've ever met. She radiates depth and wisdom. Somehow, she manages to get along in the world with fluidity. She is an old soul who has been here many times before. Nothing much ruffles her. She is from India and has studied with masters there on several occasions during her travels. Her parents moved here. She was not a part of that decision. She acknowledged that she would have been happy to stay in India.
I remember one day sitting in the cafeteria of this workplace with her and she began reading my palm. She said, "you have a big choice to make. You can die very soon or you can change your life." She provided details sufficient to convince me she knew what she was talking about. She wasn't playing parlor games. She used that framework to give me some important information that she was getting psychically. And Dalaja is psychic. Not the Psychic Friends Network variety or the New Age fluff bunny kind. She's the real thing. She uses palms the way I use numerology. It's just a prop.
At some point, we had a conversation about elders and age. She was telling me that in India, I would be her "auntie" since I am a generation older than she is. I told her that I didn't feel much like her "auntie" because in my estimation she has more life experience, more wisdom and more knowledge. "You are my elder," I told her, "no matter how old I am physically." She looked at me for a few minutes, thought hard and finally agreed. She is. She is an older soul. So, we decided that in Indian terms, we were sisters.
All of this to say that I believe elders present themselves in many ways, in all shapes and forms. Most of the world's cultures put too much emphasis on age alone. I believe they come to us on some level we can't articulate and we recognize them.
Who do you recognize as your elders?
Peace,
~Chani
