Gift giving and Thai Culture....

Last night was a busy one here at Chez Chani.

My housemates all had visitors and they were in and out. I stayed out of the way for the most part but did spend some time with them. I like some of them. Why not? :)

We all sat in the livingroom talking back and forth for half an hour or so.

PJ looked at me directly and said, "I want to know about this Thai thing you're doing. How do people give gifts there?"

I explained to her that it's a very casual process. Giving gifts over there is common. People do it for little or no reason, just to say "thanks" or "hello" or "goodbye" or "I just feel like it..." They do it for the sheer enjoyment of it. One of the things I enjoyed when I was there is that it seemed people I met were always giving me little gifts and allowing me to give them little gifts. This is something that was done even in a casual, transient relationship. It's done for fun.

That style of gift-giving fits well with my personality. I love giving gifts but don't like being coerced to do it in any way. It takes the fun out of it. If I was wealthy, I would be one of the gift-giving-est people in the world. I'm always thinking of something someone might like... a book, a special pen set (I know a lot of journal-writers), candy, food items. These are the typical things I get for people.

Another significant difference between Thai gifting customs and American gifting customs is that Thai people do not open the gifts in front of each other. The gift is graciously accepted and put to the side. Life goes on.

V. disappeared into the spare bedroom and I didn't think much of it when he did. He and I don't have the best relationship and I figured he was just bored with the conversation. I chatted on with the others for a few minutes and got up, preparing to come back to my mother-in-law unit and relax into a movie.

V. came out before I could leave with a large box in his hands. I was already standing and beginning to say my good nights. He stopped me and asked me to sit down again. He handed me a large box and said that he knew I didn't care for Christmas, so I should consider it a thank you gift. "Thank you for taking such good care of Mom last year."

I was startled, to say the least, but, following Thai tradition, I thanked him graciously and put it to the side. At that point, I felt awkward about getting up and leaving. I sat quietly, anticipating the right moment.

I really did want to get to that movie! My water was already slowly heating for tea. I'd only gone in there for a quick "hello".

Five or six faces stared at me intently.

"Are you going to open that," D. asked.

"Um.."

"You're not in Thailand yet," she said. "We want you to open it."

Well, it's allowed when requested, even in my chosen culture. I opened it. It was a DVD player.

Again, I thanked everyone graciously, told D. that it was my honor to help her in any way I can and prepared once again to leave. Finally extricating myself from the awkward situation, I came back and watched a movie. I really do believe that was a very kind gesture on their part, to think of me that way, even going so far as to respect my adopted customs.

Sometimes people shine.

Hope all are having a day filled with whatever will bring you the most joy.

Peace,


~Chani