Thursday, February 21, 2008

Fat, fat, fat.....


Okay. I'm still dealing with weight loss stuff.

I'm bored with it. By now, I should be so thin that slipping through a keyhole shouldn't be a problem. I should be non-existent!

When I was over there in the place that shall not be mentioned, I was beginning to lose pounds. Even though I just looked like a smaller pear instead of a big one, it was progress. We lived largely on a diet of rice and vegetables, rice and fruit and occasional meat dishes from the local food stalls. We drank lots of tea and water. I never felt hungry or deprived. Occasionally, I'd have a diet coke but it wasn't every day.

So... being a reasonably intelligent person, you'd think I'd be smart enough to continue that here. Right? And I have. To a degree.

But I'm munching again. Yesterday, I plowed through an unseemly number of crackers and onion dip. I drank diet Coke all day.

It didn't take long for the emotional eating to start again. This is my greatest downfall. I have an addictive personality and I replaced booze with food. The problem is that I can't choose to stop eating the way I chose to stop drinking.

As of today, no more Diet Coke and no more coffee. I'll go back to tea, rice and vegetables, rice and fruit and an occasional meat dish from... well.. somewhere.

So.. again.. today... no more. That's it. I'm going to lose this weight if it kills me... which it very well might.

If I can quit drinking, I can quit this. Right?

~*

33 comments:

wheelsonthebus said...

Jeanne Lemlin has a lovely series of vegetarian cookbooks -- the recipes are not complicated as in most veggie cookbooks. She might help in your quest!

Carla said...

You will succeed. I believe you will. Just out of a point of interest...green tea is a thermogenic food, which means it helps to speed your metabolism which in turn helps you loose weight without you doing anything else. I don't mean that the pounds will drop right off, but it does help.

Anvilcloud said...

Changing environments can certainly throw a monkey wrench in the works. After years of being too heavy, I lost and was keeping off weight. Until we moved, and I have found it difficult to get back into the sensible eating groove ever since.

You're exactly right about food; we can't simply stop eating and taste give rise to the desire for more taste.

Julie Pippert said...

Yes, Chani, you can.

Weight Watchers helped me identify that i do emotional and stress eating. I never had before but life threw a lot at me and I had no way to compensate and easily care for myself so I reverted to the basic of comfort feed.

I learned to catch triggers, identify real hunger versus emptiness, and got some good coping mechanisms. Sometimes I do choose to eat, but I keep comforting yet okay options in the house, only.

And the mindset part was the biggest deal.

You are aware and that's a big part of it.

Much support for you.

liv said...

You know? You're saying what I love to hear: We all know what we do, why we do it, and what we must do.

It's the doing...

that's the hardest part.

niobe said...

I think you've put your finger on it -- the environment and the types of food that are readily available play such important roles in our food choices. Is there a way to remove or reduce your exposure to those foods that you'd prefer to avoid?

Janet said...

I'm definitely a stress eater. Those triggers run deep. However, if you successfully quit drinking, I am very confident that you will meet your goals in this arena too.

Rima said...

You absolutely can, Chani. The times I have succeeded in losing weight, however, were when I went on lean protein diets. I didn't cut out carbs, mind you, I just ate lean protein to keep me from feeling hungry, and it worked. Snacking on salty edamame beans isn't too bad!

Good luck!

Blog Antagonist said...

Struggling with weight is so demoralizing. I wish we women didn't pin so much our self worth on our personal appearance, and especially our weight. But we do.

I quit smoking cold turkey 10 years ago. You'd think losing weight would be a cake walk compared to that, but...like you said, you can't just quit food.

You'll do it, because I think of you as a determined person.

Moving helps. Do you exercise regularly? I highly recommend the Walk Away the Pounds videos by Leslie Sansone. They are not high impact 80's style aerobics. They are low key and very doable, but very effective.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Yes, you can.

It seems that eating rice and veggies, fruit and occasional meat would make you feel closer to Thailand, and for that alone you could stick with it. You've already got the wardrobe down. Now the food.

And yes, I know it's harder. But I also know that you can do anything you set out to do and that you will accomplish this, too.

Mariposa said...

You can do it Chani! I'm sure you will...and that lifestyle helps you get connected to that place and people where/whom you love to be...so you have THAT good reason already. ;)

Olivia said...

I have been there, Chani...heck, I AM there lots and lots of the time. I also eat food (like Hawaiian salt) to reconnect with the place my soul lives, which is Hawaii.

When I was talking about transformational weight loss, I was meaning Transformational Weight Loss, at www.foodsanity.com Are you familiar with this? I have a feeling it may resonate with you :)

Peace and healing energy to you today, O

Amy Y said...

Yes you can!
It's tough though... When you stop drinking/smoking/drugs/etc, you are quitting something that you don't have to do to survive. We have to eat to survive so it's not an addiction that we can just walk away from and pretend isn't there.

Just don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day and keep plugging along. Slow and steady wins the race.

Good luck! (and don't forget to be active ~ that'll help, promise)

jen said...

i was just thinking today about what a bitch food is. it really is a bitch.

Angela said...

Yes, Jen, I'm right with you there. It is a bitch. That said, you can do it Chani. And I need to do the same thing. Damn Swedish Fish got to me again today.

crazymumma said...

I hate food and weight and the issues that come with it.


damn

QT said...

Food is just fuel for your body, Chani. Yes, you can do it. I know you can.

flutter said...

it's not about quitting anything, it's about moderating it all. You can.

Mary said...

Ughhhh. I read this post with a mouthful of strawberry Poptart from the vending machine. I could have eaten a banana. I understand! I have a sugar/salt addiction.

Sober Briquette said...

I started weighing myself a couple weeks ago, and I'm already afraid to get on the scale - I didn't get any valentines day candy, but the kids sure did, and I've been eating it. Not much of a start, so I'm going to start over.

Like liv said - I know what to do, I'm just not doing it. (Like other things...my husband suggested that the reason I don't have enough time to get anything done is that I'm spending too much time reading blogs. Ouch, the truth hurts.)

Molly said...

Of course you can. Question: When did coffee become fattening? Oh, I see. All that sugar and half'half I put in it....

meno said...

It will not kill you, and it may likely save you.

I believe you can.

KC said...

Emotional eating...I know all about that. It's so hard since it becomes such a habit but habits can be broken.

Christine said...

you can do this. you can.

i am a terrible emotional/stress eater. just yesterday i ate so much ice cream it was disgusting. it was all about some pain i couldn't handle. but i was aware of it and moved on and while the pain is still there i know that food won't fix it.

best of luck.

the psycho therapist said...

Oh dear, I feel at a loss. I don't have anything profound to say except I hear you...I know what it's like to "swirl".

Like everyone, I struggle with the tangible (the caloric intake of really yummy brie cheese, fresh basil leaves and a slice of beefsteak tomato on warm-from-the-oven bread) and the intangible (a moment's meaning, paths to take, "signs" to follow) and in the end I still don't know...I still take it minute by minute...sometimes questioning, sometimes assured, sometimes balanced, sometimes perched on the razor's edge.

I was over at friend, Twyla's, site before stopping in and she was speaking of remembering to flow, non-resistance, fexibility, being with the dance. I guess that's where I find the most peace.

Looks like my nothing turned into quite the ramble, huh? (laughing)

Teeter totter on, Oh Chani One.
(smiling)

--

Los Angelista said...

It's not so easy to do this, but you feel so much better when you are eating healthy things. It's not so much about being a certain weight or size clothing, but knowing what you're putting in your body is honoring it and helping it operate better. I think about eating better all the time and I need to get better at it. I could stand to lose a few pounds, but then again, I live in LA so that's always a reality.

I believe you can do this. If you have overcome drinking too much, you can use the exact same methods to overcome overeating.

slouching mom said...

you have some lovely commenters, who've offered up some really reasonable tips and strategies.

it's so hard. food is a battle i seem to lose over and over again.

for me, part of it is that the foods that take less time to prepare are often the same ones that are bad for you...

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Chani, I'm having the same struggle. And I'm winning, slowly but surely. Feel free to write me any time for recipes, etc. I mostly cook vegetarian, despite what's been on my blog lately.

TIV: The Individual Voice said...

Weight issues are a bummer. I find that if I literally stuff myself with green tea it gives me energy and reduces my appetite and then the less I eat, the less I feel like eating because my stomach shrinks. It's a vicious cycle.

blooming desertpea said...

I found out that food or eating is very much attached to my momentary mood or life situation. Being happy or content and eating in a sensible way are very much partners as much as feeling unstable and eating junk. It's like if my soul is at peace, food is only secondary. That's why it's very hard to lose weight because it's difficult to find peace when we are not feeling at ease in our body ...

Wayfarer Scientista said...

You CAN do it, I'm sure you can but the battle won't be won overnight so cut yourself a little bit of slack and keep facing forward because you can do it.

storyteller said...

What a lovely photo in this post! Ah … I sometimes think about giving up coffee (figuring doing so is wise for many reasons) … but I’ve surrendered so many pleasures … I cling to this one still (at least for now). I wish you well with your weight loss plan and journey.
Hugs and blessings,

Mel said...

Sure you can! Don't have doubts about you, you can do it!
It might be hard, but you are strong enough ;)
Good luck! My best wishes to you from Peru!