Saturday, February 02, 2008

This post will be up for the next week.....

~*

I have decided to make this blog private.

The primary reason I am doing so is that I'd like to discuss things in more depth and create a better, more meaningful, connection with those who read here. It will allow the site to be more interactive in the comments section and I will be free to be more open. My privacy and yours will be protected. We will be able to ask questions of each other and interact in a more "forum" style setting.

Truthfully, I'm not the sort of person who enjoys putting my thoughts and experiences out for everyone with a browser and an Internet connection. I'm an extreme introvert who is happiest with a known group, even if it's a small group. I am also a very private person. It doesn't make me feel good or safe to have people breezing in and out. My life is not casual entertainment. The things I talk about are too important to me. If I happen across someone new who I think would find the site useful, I will invite him/her.

There will be a lot of changes occurring in my life when I get back that I don't want to discuss publicly.

In so many ways, this seems like the perfect solution.

Given that, I would ask those who would like access to please let me know. (Anyone who wants it will get it, unless we've had considerable problems and I don't think those people will be interested anyway.) Leave a comment or send me an offlist note at thailandchani at yahoo dot com.

I always write for Just Posts and will forward my post for that to the administrators each month ~ without the comments. It might be necessary to open it up for that day.

I will leave this post up for a week so that those who only visit once in a while but do value the site have a chance to respond.

When I get back at the end of next week, I'll switch it over.


~Chani
~*~

34 comments:

flutter said...

Me please :) Also, I am sorry I didn't even see your post until just now about the other thing...

Rebecca said...

Chani, I'd like to be included. You are so thought-full in your reflections.

the psycho therapist said...

I would appreciate being included. It would be meaningful on many levels. Thank you.

painted maypole said...

i would love to be included in your private circle, if you'll have me

jen said...

me too, me too.

slouching mom said...

Add me, if you will. Thanks.

WendyB said...

I just started reading your blog and would like to keep doing so, if that's okay!

hele said...

And me!

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Me, too, please! As I said, your take on the world and your wisdom give me food for thought and great joy.

ThomasLB said...

This seems like a good time for me to bow out. A closed, intimate community just isn't for me.

I do hope you'll continue stop by my blog and comment from time to time.

ThomasLB said...

PS- since you are making changes anyway, you might be happier with LiveJournal. They let you determine "Public" and "Private" on a post-by-post basis, and they have nested commenting, which makes it much much easier to carry on multiple conversations.

realitytesting said...

I'd love to be included, of course, Chani...if I may be.

diddums said...

I'd love to be included too; I find your posts thought-provoking and they often chime with the way I think about things.

ewe are here said...

Yes, please. I know I don't always comment, but I do read...

The Fool said...

Good luck! I wish you well in finding peace. I understand your difficulties. I think I will opt out on joining a closed community. I have found them to be a problem in the past - as an "outsider" - so I will pass on becoming an "insider" at this point. Peace to you.

Ria said...

Chani - I may not comment much yet I would love the continued exposure to your thinking, wisdom and knowledge.

Thank you!

Christine said...

me, please.

:-)



Running on empty

TIV: the individual voice said...

Count me in, please!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Lemme in, Coach, I can play.

wheelsonthebus said...

It goes without saying that I want to be included (and not just because I like to be in with the cool kids).

Emily

Anvilcloud said...

Although you are presently one of my must-reads, I am deciding to opt out of this new direction. To me, it's not what blogging is all about. I think we put our thoughts and selves out there and take our chances. I understand that there's more than one way to look at the world, and I respect your decision and wish you well.

Mariposa said...

Hi Chani, things has been crazy but reading your post helps me keep my sanity so I would love to be there - where you will be. ;)

Snoskred said...

I'm in agreement with Anvilcloud in some ways. Going private isn't what blogging is about. Making your blog a place only people who know you already can see isn't going to enable new people to find you. And there are people out there who need to find you, just like I needed to find you and other people here needed to find you.

It is tough. Blogging is not for the faint hearted. It is especially not for those who see the lack of comments on a post as a comment on their worth. People do have lives, people have other things going on, and it just plain isn't possible for me to be here as much as I used to be due to the amount of work on my plate now.

The fact that I didn't comment doesn't mean that your post wasn't worth commenting on. It's that I wasn't here. You're one of the few blogs I still make it to regularly these days and with me regularly can now mean once a week or so.

You can't find a community by shutting people out before they even know you exist. And you know that often the rss readers can take a lot of time to get your posts through due to the uselessness of blogger.

But realistically Chani I don't believe this is about people not commenting. This is about you and your self esteem. If you think going private will fix it, then maybe that is for the best. I don't think it will - because what happens when people don't comment after the blog is private?

Apologies for breezing in and out and I'm hopeful that you would include me in any private area you might choose to have.

Cheers,
Snoskred

gumdropsandbubblethoughts said...

Me, too... PLEASE.

Amy Y said...

I am newish here but would love to read your blog if you don't mind having me...

Julie Pippert said...

Yes, I'd like to keep up with your thoughts, wherever they go.

Janet said...

Wow. I missed a lot on my blogging break.

I would like to keep up with your blog, if you don't mind.

thailandchani said...

Snos, thanks for coming by.. but I just have to say this.

With all due respect, I don't know who you think you are to come by my site and psychoanalyze me or judge my motives. I am 20+ years older than you and this isn't my first time at the rodeo.

I would be grateful to you if you would respect my way of life and my way of thinking. I'm not asking you to adopt it.. just to respect it.

Clatter about "self-esteem" really means nothing to me. I respect that that way of thought is familiar and comfortable for you. It is not for me.

I am well aware that people have other things to do than to come by my site. However, it is not my responsibility to second-guess it or even acknowledge it. So.. again.. please save the "we all have lives" dross for someone else. Besides, that expression became outdated a long time ago. It became passe because it is fundamentally insulting.

Please forgive me if this sounds snippy. This time you really made me angry. I don't know where or when you got the notion that you have the right to take such a superior tone with me.. but let me disabuse you of that notion. It is not okay.


~Chani

Snoskred said...

With all due respect Chani, this isn't our first time seeing this kind of post from you. And you know that. You gave people 15 hours to comment. That isn't a lot of time in the internet scheme of things. Especially if blogger delayed your post from showing up for at least 6 of those hours.

You have such high expectations of your readers. I don't think I can live up to them, and I don't think anyone else can either.

I wasn't taking a superior tone, I was trying to say why I hadn't commented. I apologise that my comment made you angry. :(

My belief is that it isn't about commenting. You said yourself in your post that you were tired of feeling rejected by people and that you thought people weren't commenting because you hadn't been visiting others sites for a week. I was trying to say that may not be the case at all. You told people you were going to Thailand, that you wouldn't be here very often and people perhaps weren't expecting to see posts from you. I wasn't expecting to see posts from you.

But again, it seems that you have some issues with me commenting, taking what I'm saying in a way it wasn't intended. Perhaps it is for the best if we go our separate ways now. I'll let you decide.

I can give the small amount of time that I have to be at blogs to people who don't think I am trying to psychoanalyze them when I was just saying hey, sorry I didn't comment and here's why, but I don't think this is even about commenting..

I hope you find the community you are looking for, and if your decision is to say goodbye, I wish you all the best.

Cheers,
Snoskred

thailandchani said...

Snos, only you can decide what is mindful use of your time. I am not going to compete for it.

The way it appeared to me (and I'm not going to quote a message that is only six inches above this one) that you were taking my inventory. To put it in plain English, you don't know me well enough to do that and I don't want you to do it.

Yes, I talk about my feelings on this site. Sometimes they are not pretty feelings. Life is messy and complex.. and sometimes we all feel things that are not pleasant.

That's just the way it goes. I will continue talking about my feelings on this site. I'm not looking for anyone to "fix" me. I have resources for that. I just want to be heard.

This is one place where I do that.

I'm sorry.. but that's not going to change. This isn't a newspaper column or a teaching tool. It's just a blog.

I only feel accountable for personal attacks on people. I don't feel accountable for writing about my feelings in my space. And I don't feel the need to justify them.


Be well.


~Chani

Snoskred said...

It doesn't seem that I can win with you, Chani. You say people didn't comment and get upset, so I turn up and comment, and what I say is unacceptable to you.

I call it as I see it, and what I see here is another round of nobody loves me, nobody comments after a very short time given to people in order to comment. You know you've done this before, you've spoken about the reasons why it happens and you yourself said it was self esteem related. Am I supposed to pretend I never read that? And when I mention that it is self esteem related which you yourself said some time ago, you bite my head off? Are we all supposed to pretend like that never happened and this isn't an ongoing issue for you?

If you're not honest with yourself that is one thing. If you don't want people commenting here to be honest with you, then that is something else entirely. And if you don't want me to be honest with you and call it as I see it, then it is time for me to move on.

I'm not going to lie to you, and I have a long memory. I remember what you've said before. Should I apologise for that?

I have no need, want or desire to fix you. I wanted to be your friend. In my world friends don't watch someone make the same mistake over and over and say nothing, or say there there words. Friends speak up and be honest with each other.

I'm truly offended by what you've said to me, Chani. Honestly. I don't know what is going on with you, but I didn't expect to be treated this way when all I said was something YOU said yourself here many times.

You may be 20+ years older than me, but you're certainly not acting like you're older and wiser right now. I'm sorry to say that, but it is how I feel. And like you say, feelings can sometimes not be pretty.

Snoskred

niobe said...

I'm feeling a little confused about what you've decided to do -- maintain two blogs, one private, one public? If you are creating a private blog, I'd love to be able to read it, but, since it won't have a feed (at least if it's in Blogger), there won't be any way to know if you've posted something new.

blooming desertpea said...

You know I love to read your blog, even if at the moment I only manage to pop in every few days ... so, the question is futile, the answer is clear - I would love to continue reading you. I would be honored to be part of your inner circle.

Molly said...

Me too please!