Monday, March 31, 2008

Anyone for rabbit stew?

Saturday I went out for a long walk. It was a rather gloriously warm day and a walk was the perfect way to be out in it. Still, I was on edge. I wasn't sure whether there would be a pot of rabbit stew on the stove when I came back.

I came home to find my cell phone chirping a happy little chime, letting me know I had voicemail.

I was reluctant to listen to it, given the events of the past few days.

An old friend contacted me. He's someone I haven't talked with for several months. I was rather happy to hear from him at first. We had a pleasant conversation and the words flowed like a river, each of us catching up on the life events of the other. We hung up happy.

The next day, the phone rang again. It was him. We talked a bit more and ended the call on a happy note once again.

A few hours later, I heard Fur Elise again. It was the phone.

It was him.

This time, he seemed a bit more aggressive but I didn't take it too seriously. I skirted around the more unseemly comments and changed the subject.

7.00 PM. Fur Elise. Now I'm getting concerned.

It was him.

He talked in a way that truly creeped me out. References to our "partnership" and how he never would have expected that after not talking for so long that I would instantly feel "love" for him "again".

I never loved him. He was a casual friend. I explained that as diplomatically as possible. Apparently, he didn't catch the subtle clues.

The next day, Fur Elise. I ignored all four of his calls which came in rapid fire, one after another, within two hours.

I decided to take action on it by writing him an email. I wrote:

I'm sorry I missed your calls. I have not been home. [really, I was ignoring him] At any rate, after giving it some thought, I really don't think we should talk any further. You are a really intense guy - which is fine - but it just doesn't work well with me. I do wish you all the best but please don't call me again. Best, ~Chani

Within minutes, the computer was chiming incoming mail. He wrote:

What you are is a self centered person that only thinks of herself. You need a partner that just accepts everything that you do. If you think its ok not to return someone calls is ok then let 14 be eternity for you. A decent woman would let someone know when she changes her mind not just change it. You need an overhauling

Wow! What in the world? This is a guy I had lunch with a few times several months ago! He's not a "partner". And, yes, as a matter of fact, I do expect people to accept the things I do.

I shot a final email back.

I'm sorry you feel that way.. and I'm sorry you feel the need to wish ill-will on me. I was never your partner. I was barely a casual friend. More of an acquaintance. You need a reality check. Still, I choose to wish you well - because that's who I am ~ and I'm self-centered that way. May you be well and happy, ~Chani

All this to say ~ there are some real wackos out there! Who would have thought someone like me, someone who is rather invisible in most circumstances would attract such a thing?

Happy to report he has not called back. Oh. And I changed my ring tone. I will never hear "Fur Elise" the same way again. :)


heartinsanfrancisco said...

Uh, oh. Danger danger, Will Robinson.

I hope he doesn't know where you live. The guy sounds like a loose cannon. But then, healthy people don't stalk others.

Good luck, Chani. I hope he's truly gone.

jen said...

oh wow. it's unsettling, isn't it...when you realize someone else's perspective is a whacked and you are involved.

meno said...

Well, the rabbit stew looks delicious.

But the man is a whack job. Seriously, what planet is he calling from?

Blog Antagonist said...

Good grief, I agree with everyone else, he sounds as if he could be dangerous. I'm glad you heeded those warning bells and cut off contact with him.

Anonymous said...

hope that's the last of him. I would have felt the same way about changing my ring.

(I have U2's "One," and I never realize it's me because a) it doesn't sound like a ringtone, and b) no one calls me. For which, after reading this, I am grateful.)

Janet said...

Creepy, creepy story. I hope he doesn't call back.

Rima said...

Uh, sounds very Fatal Attractionish, indeed, Chani. I hope he does not live close by (or know about your blog!. Stay safe!

slouching mom said...

sounds like you averted something very unpleasant. good for you. be careful.

Casdok said...

I think you handled that well, hope he dosnt bother you again.

QT said...

yes - be careful! Reality Check indeed...what a nut ~

Sensitiva McFeelingsly said...

I'm so glad that he has not tried to contact you again. I had a similar experience with an off-kilter friend who took my friendship to mean love... it was difficult to get him to understand that I'm that nice to everybody.

Perspective is a strange thing. I hope he continues to stay away!

blooming desertpea said...

Oh my! Who needs that! To hell with him ...

flutter said...

What the flying hell?

we_be_toys said...

Holy Crapola Chani! I'm glad you were firm with this guy and definitively let him go his way, but its creeping me out. I'm worried he's going to continue to stalk you, because crazy people are, well,...crazy!
If you ever need to hide out, I'm your girl. I know lots of burly men who are all good shots (are you listening weird dude?).
BTw, the stew looked great :)

Angela said...

HA! I have a blogging buddy who has another name for them - fucktards! Of course, I would never expect to see that on your blog - but I can say it, 'cause I'm self-centered like that! :)

Christine said...

that is truly strange, i hope he stays away--be safe.

Angela said...

Chani ~ How frightening! I'm so glad to hear that he hasn't called again, but such a pity! "Fur Elise" may be always different for me, too. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that all will be well.

Anonymous said...

There are some scary, scary people out there, I sure hope you've heard the last of that one.

thailandchani said...

Susan, he doesn't know where I live.. and at this point, I'm reasonably sure he's gone. People like that don't have very long attention spans. He'd need me to buy into the drama for him to get any satisfaction. :)


Jen, it really is. If you understood how utterly invisible I am in most situations, you'd know why it seemed so bizarre to hear from someone after seven months of silence - and to have him have those feelings.

He must have a very satisfying fantasy life.


Meno, he was calling from his very own planet. I'm certain he's not familiar with the representational language of this one. :)


BA, me too! I do not like drama in my life.. at. all.


De, thank goodness some people call me now after quite a drought.. but I can do without that type.


Janet, he probably won't.


Rima, I don't know if he knows about the blog. He could probably find it.. but I think he would have left a nasty comment by now. So it's probably safe. :)


SM, oh yes.. careful. Locked and loaded. :)


Casdok, I hope he's not bothering someone else! Hopefully he's crawled back under his rock.


QT, yeah.. I know how to draw 'em!


Sensitiva, one of the things I fail to understand is how anyone could possibly want someone who doesn't reciprocate. But perhaps that makes me arrogant.


Desertpea, indeed!


Flutter, your guess is as good as mine! This guy isn't a kid, either! He's a 54 year old man!


WBT, Thanks for the offer of refuge. :) I think he's gone. Really. He's crazy.. but he's crazy enough that he won't be able to tolerate my silence.


Angela, LOL!! Well, believe me, a very vulgar name for him danced from my mouth more than once last week. :)


Christine, thanks. :) I'll stay safe.


Angela, that was my all-time favorite ring tone because I've always loved the music. Now I have a generic T-Mobile ringtone. That probably upsets me more than his nastygram. LOL


Citizen, from your mouth to God's ear. :)


MsLittlePea said...

Um yeah. I don't really have anything to add since everyone has pretty much hit the nail on the head....still though, very creepy.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Your caller seemed to be getting close to being an obsessive stalker! Not good. I hope he finally heard you and will now keep his distance and give up his fantasies.

Mariposa said...

First of all, I love Fur Elise...and sad to know his calls contributed to you deciding not to use it again.

And I just cannot believe he wrote you that email after all his so-called "endearment" towards you. Most of us at any point of our lives I guess, had/has to say no and had been a recepient of just amazes me how he handled yours. Though for the record, I would say I admire your courage in writing that email to him...kind'a too strong actually for me....I have problems telling people to stop contacting me because they have like...annoyed me already. I think THAT I will try to develop. ;)

With how he react and flip from one side to the other, I would say you did the best decision in turning him down. And please stay from that person...I don't trust him.

Tis I. said...

Fur Elise was my ring tone, too.. it signaled late night calls and drugs.. lol!

What a shame that technology has ruined things for us this way - such a beautiful song.

The guy? - NPD.

I need say no more. ;)

Journey Through Life said...

My goodness. Just insane.

Carla said...

Wow, that guy sounds pretty intense. I think you handled the situation very diplomatically.

niobe said...

How scary.

Jana B said...

FREAKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sounds like he DOES need a reality check... You ignored four phone calls and became self-centered?! I ignore phone calls all the time... I wonder what he'd say I am? lol

Lex said...

Yikes! And this is why I'm not all that interested in dating again.

Be safe and don't hesitate to call in back-up if he doesn't go away.

Anonymous said...

I haven't been here in ages but when I read this post I had to laugh.
This line in particular. "A decent woman would let someone know when she changes her mind not just change it."
You're allowed to change your mind whenever you want to. As for giving him advanced notice, how can you? You don't know until you know.