It Takes A Village....

Earlier today, I was wandering around the Internet reading blogs. One was written by a woman who feels very overwhelmed by the constant supervision of her small children. Even though I do not have children, her feelings were entirely understandable.

It got me thinking about kids. They're wonderful little beings ~ so full of hope and possibility. They are so full of future. They're honest and kind.

Well, until the socialization process starts anyway.

I made the conscious choice to not have children for a variety of reasons. I did not have the resources or extended family it takes to raise a child. Being somewhat of an undernourished and unwatered garden myself, I didn't have the emotional or spiritual inner resources to take on that commitment. It's easy to enjoy other people's children, to help with their children, but raising them on my own was too much.

Around the time I graduated high school and headed off for college, the whole social contract began to shift. People started raising children by themselves because they "wanted one". Men didn't seem to be a very important part of the package. They were viewed as "sperm donors". After all, women could have it all... at the same time.

From that point, men, being pushed out of the picture rather brutally, took that to mean their presence was not needed so they took off when it no longer "felt good". People got divorced because "it didn't feel good anymore." People left their extended families for parts unknown because "it didn't feel good to stay here any more."

I don't think too many people in my generation were really concerned about how their kids felt about anything. It was all about us, all the time. Baby Boomer Disease. Me, me, me, me, me. If It Doesn't Feel Good, I Ain't Gonna Do It And If You Don't Like It, Screw You! If there'd been a way to create a tattoo out of that, many of us would probably have it.

It seems the kids pay for this irresponsible attitude. In my personal opinion, children really do need a large family presence. They need Grandma, Grandpa, uncles, aunts and cousins. It teaches them how to function within a group, how to relate to others and how to have a sense of community. Additionally, it helps the mothers with young children to have a needed respite, a break, from the constant supervision. It's balance.

It would be interesting to hear from mothers about this. I am shooting into the wind here, not being a parent so it's easy for me to deal in generalizations and platitudes. It would be enlightening to hear how mothers and fathers feel about this.

What say you, oh, fountains of wisdom?


Peace to all ~


~Chani