Sex as small talk.....

This morning, Cecileaux followed up on my post yesterday by putting out the thought that sex is a language. A form of communication.

I agree with that.

It is.

But, as I commented on his site, it has gone from deep, substantial conversation to casual small talk.

A big part of my reason for not dating is the absolute and relentless expectation that I will be somehow anxious to engage in this "small talk" with everyone I meet.

Here's an example ~ from yesterday.

I went over to a small convenience store to buy a bottle of Diet Coke. The person behind the register is someone I have known for a long time now. Casually.

He told me that he would "take [me] anytime" and all I have to do is "say the word". When I commented jokingly that he is married, he said, "it doesn't matter".

And he couldn't even begin to imagine why I was offended. I am just a customer in his store. He doesn't know me, my value system, my way of life or anything about me.

He can only see that I am a female. If I am a female, I am a potential resource for him. Evidently, that is all that's required.

No different than a peice of steak.

Each time I have gotten to know a man (with the exception of one... the "Target Man" I met some months back) has brought up the topic of sex within the first few hours of knowing me, sniffing around, trying to see if I was open to the possibility. When I was not, he would lose interest and disappear. That doesn't make me feel bad, to be honest about it. I'd rather not be bothered by those types. They bore me senseless.

Keep in mind that I am not a physically attractive woman. I'm older. I'm heavyset. I make no efforts to be attractive to the opposite sex. I don't wear revealing clothing. My hairstyle is wash and wear. I don't use make-up. Frankly, I'm plain. Ordinary. Yes, I am unusual looking with all of my Thai stuff ~ but I'd hardly call that "primping". It is simply a style preference.

Hardly someone who should be subjected to this kind of tawdry sniffing around by men. It reminds me of a bunch of dogs in heat.

The scary thing is that this kind of behavior has become acceptable. It is no longer considered impolite or crass to openly pursue one's physical desires without any boundary. No ritual attached to courting anymore. It's just go out to eat and find somewhere to have sex.

Sorry to say... this turns me off completely and has led me to conclude that finding a mate in this day and age, given the prevalent value system, is not going to be something I am willing to do.

It's sickening. It's crass. It's impolite. It's tacky. And the truth is that I have a variety of reasons for existing on this planet and the primary one is not to be a vessel for men's sexual desires.

It cheapens sex and puts it in the same category as small talk. Useless chatter that is used to fill empty spaces.



Peace,


~Chani