Old souls ....

Last night, we had some interesting discussions.

I suspect most of us want to believe we are "old souls". It implies a certain wisdom and experience that will place us just a bit "above" the unwashed masses. We want to believe we come here with something extra that will make our lives more meaningful and more fulfilling because we have an understanding of our purpose here.

Personally, I believe that is a very western concept. It's competitive. It's a way to feed our egos by believing we have an advantage over most others.

I've studied this stuff for a long time and am very, very aware ~ sometimes painfully aware ~ that I am a new soul. It's not too likely that I've hung around this neighborhood very many times before. I still get lost too easily. If I had to make a wild, wild guess, I'd say I've had perhaps four lifetimes.

Not all of them were in the East, unless Poland would be considered "East". I once had a past-life reading that indicated my most recent life before this one was spent in Eastern Europe. I was a very ordinary person who died in the Holocaust, specifically at Auschwitz. This makes some sense to me because as a young kid, I used to weep inconsolably whenever I heard about it. It wasn't empathy crying. It was keening, weeping, uncontrollable tears that would cause me to lose my breath. That held true until my mid-teens when it somehow resolved and I was able to discuss it and hear about it with some semblence of rationality.

Some theories of reincarnation would say that is not possible because my birthdate is too close to the end of WWII. They say there are at least 100 years between incarnations. I don't subscribe to that particular theory because time itself is a linear concept, invented by us for our convenience. In the spirit world, there is no time. I believe we cycle when we're meant to cycle and it could be 100 years or 2 days. It depends on the soul's lessons and needs.

In another lifetime, I was a selfish, inconsiderate, horrid person who likely used others and discarded them with some abandon. I don't know the specifics or the location of that lifetime but I believe much of my karma in this lifetime is tied to that one.

Most likely, my first incarnation was in Thailand (or Siam, as the case may be). That is why it is "home". It is where my soul's tentacles feed into the earth and remain planted. When I was in Khon Kaen, I met several people whom I believe to be "soulmates", people I've known in that and perhaps other lifetimes. These are the souls who cycle with us each time. We always find them. (Ajahn S., as an example, is one of those people. My mother is one of them. There's no guarantee that a "soul mate" is a positive influence. It's easy to confuse this term with the romantic concept of "soul mate" but it actually means anyone who comes into our lives that contributes to our growth. That means a completely toxic person could very well be a "soul mate".)

The Balinese believe we are each born with "four brothers", four guides, who are always with us. They name their "brothers" and talk with them. That's just another twist on the guardian angel belief that seems to hold in most of the world's religions.

Thai people actually build a little house for their spirit guides and ancestors called San Phra Phum. I have done this as well and find it kind of comforting and familiar. That tells me that it is something from "home". Our first lifetime is very much like our earthly childhood. That is where we learn the basics. Most of the choices and patterns we develope come from our soul's "childhood", too. Just like an earthly lifetime, we continue cycling as we grow, change, develope and confirm certain beliefs and ways of life.

Well, at least that's my take on it. It would be interesting to hear what you believe, even if it is that I am full of baloney. Do you have an affinity for a particular time in history or a particular place?


Peace,


~Chani