Wellness Wednesday.. Eliminating Pain

This week's Wellness Wednesday isn't about something I've overcome. It's not about something I've learned.

It's about something I'm learning.

I am in pain. Not excruciating pain. Nothing life-threatening or life-defying. Just a dull ache. It' s a dull ache created by the constant frustration of trying to communicate and of not being heard, of not feeling embraced by the world. It is about separation from my soul's home. It's the kind of pain that sits in the abdominal area and churns. It's the kind of pain that makes me question the purpose of my efforts, the purpose of the things I do to try to break through the invisible barrier that seems to separate me from others. I've "done" all the things I know how to do to "fix" it. I'm weary of the effort, of the disappointment, of the genuine absence of the kind of connections I need here and now.

I don't want to be separate anymore - but it can't be "fixed". It's not something that can be immediately alleviated so that I'll be comfortable again. I need to walk through this, wherever it leads.

I have to let go of "trying".

Which brings me to the topic of this post. We've been trained since infancy to believe we shouldn't feel pain, that it should be banished at all costs, no matter what we have to do.

Heaven forbid we should ever be uncomfortable.

We've been fed a pack of lies. The cultural belief (the ultimate dictator) is that pain should be completely eliminated. We go to a doctor to get a pill. We take a drink. We smoke some weed. We go find a temporary sex partner. We watch more TV. We have a right to have it numbed. It leads us to resist the pain when it's present which makes it more intense. But the truth is that pain is unavoidable. Just the process of being born into this world automatically means we will be in pain. There's loss. We get old and sick. We die. People can be disappointing. This is reality.

I think the real suffering comes when we don't allow ourselves to feel the pain, to be with it, to demystify it, when we resist it. We resist it, become resentful and see ourselves as victims.

It's gotten to a stage where most people don't entirely understand the difference between pain and suffering. I am in pain right now. I am not suffering. Suffering comes from the resistance, not from the pain itself.

Perhaps the real objective in experiencing pain is to use the pain as a healer. A true healer doesn't merely eliminate the uncomfortable feelings. He, she or it teaches us how to feel alive with all of our feelings, not just the good ones. We need to let it hurt, see where it leads us and know the sensation is merely a sensation. We won't die if we feel pain. We very well might if we don't allow it.

The point is to come to the full realization that true health means we do feel that aliveness, in pleasure or in pain. Our pain is real and I'm not the sort who will tell anyone that everything is really okay, it's going to be okay - that there will be a happy ending.

The separation from others most of us feel is very real. And it's as bad as we all think it is ~ in fact, it's probably worse.

At the same time, all is well. This is a path we have to experience in order to understand that we are creating it with our choices. We are creating it with false beliefs. If anything, the pain will help us to begin making different choices. At that point, we will all begin to heal.


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