Harmony...

I got to thinking about why it seems that I am such an odd bird.. and have some difficulty finding commonality with others at times. It would be easy to put it in a little box and say "cultural values" but that's really not it. Culture is certainly a common set of beliefs and a way of life - but people are still individuals within that frame. All culture does is help to at least create a baseline - a foundation.

I began writing a list - the things that draw me to others, that make me want to know them better and things that seem to immediately push me away.

1) When I ask "how are you", tell me the truth. I'm really interested or I wouldn't ask.

2) Express your opinions and own them. My intellect is big enough to accept all kinds of viewpoints. If you are open to it, we can discuss. If not, I'll just listen.

3) Don't try to impress me with accomplishments. You won't succeed. I couldn't care less. The only thing I care about is the merit of your ideas and the nature of your character.

4) Don't "double-talk". In other words, don't try to manipulate me. As soon as I sense that, I want to get as far away as possible.

5) Keep your word. If you say you are going to do something, do it. If you say you are going to be somewhere, be there.

6) Be kind. Don't say nasty things about other people. Don't wish ill-will on others - even if it's George Bush. No schadenfreude. If you take pleasure in the pain or misfortune of others, I simply can't be around you.

7) Listen as well as talk.

8) Kreng jai. Have a considerate heart.

9) Let me do things for you without immediately placing a price tag on it and figure you have to do something of equal value for me. Different things mean different things to different people. Don't keep score.

10) If I do something wrong, tell me. I'll listen and be open. For gosh sake, don't just disappear. There is nothing more crazy-making than someone who doesn't have the courage to tell me. I will never be able to trust you again.

So those are the top things on my list. I didn't bother to put things like "please take a shower occasionally" because I figure that's obvious. :)

What's at the top of your list? What will push you away or draw you to others?

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As an aside, just in case you'd like to read a great blog, Charles Eisenstein (the guy I've been raving about for the past several months) has started one. I recommend it highly!

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