Showing posts with label mindful speech. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mindful speech. Show all posts

Friday, November 07, 2008

An issue of mindful speech....

There's been an issue of mindful speech lately that I need to speak up about.

Now that change is in the air and there is a desire to balance inequities, I'd like to suggest a change of terminology which will lead to a change in perception.

I've heard many speeches over the past few days about "helping those less fortunate" and "the lesser among us".

This makes me grit my teeth.

Let me be very clear about something ~ and you are hearing it from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

As most of you know, I live on an amount of money that is below the federal poverty level.

Poverty, yes. In strict economic terms. There is nothing "poor" about me ~ not intellectually, emotionally, physically or spiritually.

There is absolutely nothing "unfortunate" about me. And I'm sure as hell not the "lesser among us".

And I'm sick and tired of being referred to that way. It's offensive. And demeaning. And condescending.

There's a tendency to "other" us, to make us something "less than" in both use of language and perception. If you believe this perception exists for any other reason than to allow some people to feel "better than", think again. It's subtle.

We care about the same things. We just don't have a lot of money.

We enjoy a good book, a good conversation, a good joke, companionship ~ just like everyone else. We just don't have a lot of money.

We love, we dislike, we are happy, sad, exhilarated, frustrated, excited or angry, just like everyone else. We just don't have a lot of money.

We are not downtrodden, unfortunate, less than, pitiable or pathetic. Not any more than anyone else. We just don't have a lot of money. Eliminate those expressions from the national discourse.

If there is true dedication to change the way we perceive each other and the way we are going to evolve as a society toward inclusiveness and compassion, let's start with that perception, that use of language. Let's start with the way we talk about each other.

If perception is reality, as Whitehead would have us believe, we are creating that reality with language that denigrates an entire segment of the population.

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Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Mindful speech... (Warning: Vulgar Language)


Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others, I am committed to cultivating loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering, I am determined to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy and hope. I will not spread news that I do not know to be certain and will not criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will refrain from uttering words that can cause division or discord, or that can cause the family or the community to break. I am determined to make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.


I was just listening to some neighbors over the fence and am surprised at my own reaction to their language. I want to go take a shower. Some would say I am a literalist, given that I tend to take speech rather seriously.

I listen to what people say and feel the aggression that has become such a normal part of everyday speech now.

But mostly, I notice the vulgarity and the violence in the speech used by people toward each other. It's a wonder any of us manage to survive the barrage of filthy and disgusting images that unconsciously enter our brains.

Think about it for just a minute. One of my favorite invectives at one time is a horribly violent word. The much beloved 'f bomb' refers to rape. Think about that each time the word comes out so easily. "F*ck you" is wishing for someone to be raped. One way to cure the habit is to remember that each time we use that word. Think about what rape really is!

I could cite any number of words and the "real" meaning of them but we're all adults here and already know.

I'm not going to say I never curse. That would be an absolute lie. Every now and then, I get aggravated and use some words because they feel like a release. I have my preferred words, none of which are pleasing to the ear - so I do it under my breath or when I am alone. In my previous way of life, I could let loose with the best of them and use words that would peel the armor off a tank but the time comes that we begin to mature and understand that the words and images we put out into the world do manifest. Careless speech is wounding. Polluting the environment with foul language and thoughts is rude to other people.

We continue wounding each other, every day with words.

But eventually we have to grow up and understand that it's not cute. It's not funny. It's not casual. It doesn't sound sophisticated or cool. It just sounds ugly. It's .. icky. It's verbal rot. And it's violent. That's a connection that many people don't make. All violence is interconnected. Assaulting someone with words is just as abusive as assaulting with fists.

I hardly think I have the influence to really get people to clean up their speech - but thought it would be worth mentioning anyway. If even one person is brought to mindfulness so that we can feel a little less assaulted in our interactions, it's worth it.

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