When we know better, we do better...

I want to thank all of you who came through for me yesterday. I have pulled the post because the person I am talking about lurks around the Internet enough that I am concerned about her finding it. All she'd have to do is plug in "th@i1@ndch@ni" and she might find it.. and this blog.

The comments are archived for me to look at more closely. All of you made such good points and I want to be able to read them more than once, to really take them in, to think about them some more.

It's totally true that if we can't feel special with our friends, where are we supposed to feel it at all? And this isn't about ego.. or selfishness. It's about being human. I guess I do need a degree of closeness with my friends. It doesn't mean I need to be glued to them.. but I need to know I can count on them being there, being respectful and being kind.

The person in question reminded me too much of people I used to attract, those who were emotionally unavailable for friendship. I was often feeling "shorted" as I would want to think of pleasant things for us to share, to talk about deeper subjects, to really share ourselves with each other, to include her in my community. For many years, I drew people with that kind of unavailability but didn't have the option of turning them away because it was that or nothing. It was a crappy way to be - and not one I care to revisit.

I've accepted that she is not capable of a close friendship with me. Just this morning, I had to fight for a response to a question I'd asked and finally decided I would not be doing that again. She had a habit of frequently ignoring what I said and only came around when I would have to fight for it or make a stink. I don't want that. Really. There are too many good people surrounding me now. Even though many of you only know me on this site, that doesn't diminish the good feelings I have about all of you. Some of you have gotten to know me better privately and I value you so much also. There are a few good people who surround me here in "3D" as well. This is where I need to keep my focus and share my energy.

We teach others how to treat us.

Maya Angelou's voice is in my head. It's true. We do. We teach people what is okay and what is not.

I guess I needed a reminder of what it used to be like. It certainly does remind me to remain grateful.

When we know better, we do better.

Thank you so much for giving me your thoughts. I needed to hear everything that was said.

(palms together)

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