When to speak up and when to back off....

Yesterday, shortly after I posted, something very disturbing happened in my environment. Please be aware before reading this that there is some disturbing dialogue.

As I sat here at the computer, I heard some crashing and banging noises in the apartment next to mine. It's a small studio and a man and woman live there together. The guy is an abuser. I've known that for a long time. I've heard his yelling and badgering before. In fact, I've had a few interactions with him myself over other issues. I yelled right back and he backed down.

Yesterday was more disturbing though because, as far as I'm concerned, I heard a rape in progress.

I was drawn to the hallway because of the crashing and banging. I heard his voice coming through the door.

"Why? I want you to tell me why!"

(muffled female sounds)

"You are a useless m---f-----! Everything you do is an embarrassment to me! And now you won't even do what you're good at? I want you to tell me why!"

"I love you. I'm sorry."

"I love you. I'm sorry," he repeated in a mocking tone. "That's no answer! I want an answer!"

"I don't know. I'm tired. I've been working...."

"Oh, yeah! At Walmart! You're really something special, aren't you? Is that all you plan to do with your life? If it wasn't for you dragging me down, I could be so much more! And you say you love me? Bullshit, you m----- f-------!"

(muffled female voice)

"Well, you'll give me what I want now or I'll go find someone who will! Today!"

There were some other things said. I moved out of the hallway because I really couldn't stand it anymore.

It made me cry. I couldn't fathom, in the deepest part of me, how any woman would allow herself to be treated that way.

I'm a peaceful person but will admit that I am not known for taking crap from anyone. If a man spoke to me that way, he'd be out so fast his head would fall off. He'd be walking like he just got off a horse for a very, very long time. I don't play around. I've never tolerated verbal or physical violence from anyone and never will.

So obviously I can't understand her. At all.

Yet I gave serious thought to my obligations to her - as her neighbor and as another woman.

My instinct was to call the police. My further instinct was to go to her place of work and let her know that I'm paying attention and that if she needs help, she can yell through the wall for me.

I'm fairly familiar with the dynamics of domestic violence but I'm no expert.

So I ask... what would you do in similar circumstances?

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